How to Write a Love Poem
by Newdigate Prizeman
Take two large and tender human hearts, which match one another perfectly. Arrange these close together, but preserve them from actual contact by placing between them some cruel barrier. Wound them both in several places, and insert through the openings thus made a fine stuffing of wild yearnings, hopeless tenderness, and a general admiration for stars. Then completely cover up one heart with a sufficient quantity of chill church-yard mold, which may be garnished according to taste with dank waving weeds or tender violets: and promptly break over it the other heart.