by Sasha Marchlewski |
Categories:
funny, husband,
I'm like a fart
Puff I'm here
There is no easy escape
Once I am here
No one gets away
Once I've gone
It's only a matter of time
Before I return
For my husband on chili night... Love you!!
by Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, school, teenage, work,
Sometimes my work is the pits -
Teenagers popping their zits
With consummate art
They burp and they fart …
I still love my job to bits!
17th November 2015
by Black Eyed Susan |
Categories:
funny,
I can tell you love my
sweet nothings,
whispered,
from the bottom of my
fart...
pffft
7/3/12
by Code Chode |
Categories:
love, parody,
Shall I compare thee to a bum’s day?
Thou fart more lovely and more belle.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And the bum's lease hath all too strong a smell.
Sometime too stinky the smell of taco bell,
And often is his bean burrito dinner mass;
And every bum from bumland sometimes smells,
But chance, or nature's changing course causes gas.
But thy eternal smell shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that foul thou ow'st;
Nor shall you brag thou grade,
When in eternal scent, thou gross,
So long as men can breathe or have heart,
So long lives this, and this gives life to fart.
by Ann Foster |
Categories:
addiction, crazy, garden, happiness, holiday, humor, perspective,
Green Fruit
In the jar,
the cucumbers are pickling.
Grandma put them there,
days ago.
Slowly...
They are getting more tart,
more smart,
and will fart,
before the end.
What?
I love pickles,
they make me smile.
They make my taste buds go pop.
I love the really vicious ones,
that leave you touching your tongue
to the roof of your mouth,
for at least ten minutes too.
Those are the hot ones.
Grandpa calls them, "fire in a jar".
Fancy fruits put away
for another day,
barely make it through today...
if I am around.
Just saying.
Pickles.
by Christopher Bunton |
Categories:
funny, love, pets,
*****, *****, my fun, little, furry friend.
Your tongue is long and pink, and always hangs out.
Chasing your tail, is a game, that will not end.
Why won't you come when I call, Unless I shout?
*****, *****, you lay in my bed and fart,
And when it's time to bathe, you scurry and dart.
*****, I hate the times I've stepped in your poo.
But, you always make me laugh and I love you.
For the "Valentine" Contest.
by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories:
animal, dog, food, funny, love, pets, silly,
Oh my pretty Tsuki
Tsuki-tsuki-tsoo
Aren't you a beautiful doggy?
You'd make a lovely sandwich!
Eat you on a toasted sourdough bun,
Yes I will. Yes I will.
I love you so much, kissy kissy,
Snuggle snuggle
Wouldn't you like me to
Roast you on a spit?
Bite a hole in your belly and
Suck your insides out!
Moose fart! PLPLPLPL!!
Such a lovely, lovely girl
You'd make the perfect pot roast
Or a mince pie, you're such a sweety,
Eat you, eat you up, nom nom nom.
by Eve Roper |
Categories:
baby, funny, , cute,
Was born
To warm
Your heart
Was smart
Head bare
No hair
Small nose
Cute toes
Fat pink
Small stink
Sweetheart
I fart
Loud cry
Goodbye
Ma Ma
Ba Ba
Want tit
Good bit
I plead
You feed
I puke
Rebuke
Bad smell
From tail
I poop
Like soup
I pee
You flee
Breakthrough
I grew
Like storm
Age norm
Kid gloves
True love
3/22/2017
Contest Name: FABULOUS FUN FOOTLES
Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON
by Chris Boskovski |
Categories:
dark, death, depression, desire,
To Hell I will go my dear
if I cannot have you,
I look in the mirror with a cloudy image
and I see a black devil grinning at me
a dark mass on my shoulders,
is it love?
is it death?
is it a fart in the wind?
I have no clue,
but all I know is without you... To hell I will go
to shake the hands of a thousand tainted souls lost.
Yes, to Hell I will go my dear.
for everyday I wont have you... I will travel to Hell.
by Trash Boat |
Categories:
anger, bridal shower, red,
I love recycled bread
I love chew on them
If you don't recycle them i'll beat you until you purple and red
sometimes i take the bread to the gym
We like to work out
Sometimes i take a big bite out of it
the bread gets mad at me and goes to pout
I love to recycle bread
So does my good friend ted
Hes a not very smart
and hes dumb old fart
Hes a stupid old tart
Hes so dumb he couldn't find the door to kmart
but if you don'tt recycle then your better of dead
So don't forget to recycle your bread!
by Deb M |
Categories:
humor, humorous, true love,
I love him
Though he is a grumpy old fart first class
He loves me
Though I am a royal pain in the ar*e
Unconditionally!
by Kay Roberts |
Categories:
fun, giggle,
I may be a Princess,
But, I swear like a Marine,
I drink like a Sailor,
And my jokes are never clean.
I may be a Princess,
But, I never dress the part,
I wear hob nailed boots,
And I don't care where I fart.
I may be a Princess,
But, I don't act like one at all,
I like to get down and dirty,
And I don't want to go to the ball.
I may be a Princess,
But, I'm extremely loud,
I like to party,
And stand out in a crowd.
I may be a Princess,
But, I am all of the above,
I don't care what people think,
I am the one I love.
by Florian Beauchamp |
Categories:
on writing and words,
These words
that trickle
down
the
screen
could not care
where they
have been
what role
they played
in
famous verse
a speech
a curse
or something worse
it matters not
to words
like these
if they offend
or cheer
or please
they do not
mourn
a love betrayed
or wish a friend
who’s gone had stayed
nor on their
progress
to the bottom
care one wit
if
they’re forgotten
but rather
like
the drops of rain
that slide
across
a window pane
avoid
the fate
of
being part
of some dull poet’s
heartfelt fart
leaving
on
the
dirty glass
ghostly symbols
as they pass.
by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories:
humorous,
I know you are a naturalist
And have the world at heart
With green house gases building up
You know I'll do my part
My love for you is everything
You knew this from the start
I promise from this moment on
I will cease to Fart
I know you must have heard this
From other men like me
But you can tell the way I swell
I'm yours eternally
by Jack Horne |
Categories:
on writing and words,
She laughed about the Miller’s Tale,
And said, ‘Repeat that part!
It’s funny when he kisses butt -
But love the student’s fart.’ *
*I think the windmiller in the picture is reciting The Miller’s Tale from Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, lol.
For Isaiah’s Edmund Blair Leighton (Windmiller’s Guest) contest
by Kelsi Nichols |
Categories:
cry,
An honest person cries over a broken heart
when frustrated or angry, or embarrassed from a fart
They jump with joy when they are happy and out comes a gleeful tear
they pee their pants and start to moan when experiencing fear
A guilty person decides to cry when they think they deserve more
manipulate the ones they love just to make them soar
Take attention from those who earn it just to feel alright
most of the time there's nothing wrong- their pettier lacks insight
But even if you cry a lot, or even a bit too often
people don’t see
the possibility
that maybe you do feel rotten
by Deb M |
Categories:
fun, humor, nonsense, silly,
Flatulence has many endearing names
Most commonly known as a fart
A blow off, fluff, clanger, puff of love
Just a few from a long list and chart
Its an explosive common bodily function
Erupting, blowing ,wafting throughout the world
Yet no matter how many times we hear one
We laugh like its the first one we have ever heard!!!
by Trevor Mcleod |
Categories:
analogy, appreciation, conflict, crazy, crush, funny love, humorous,
She called me fart head
She really hates the poets
She's never really meant much
But fey; to her to know it
All wise within her own shell
How could she call to smelled it
If only she were not right
and I could say to Stow It!
by Olusegun Arowolo |
Categories:
life,
Despite the quarrels
which drive me
insane
I still cherish and
love her with pure
heart
Storms and
turbulence we did
not bargain
Our home turned
garbage and smelt
like skunk fart
Yet we were able to
endure this pain
Tears and sorrow
travel through our
soul`s cart
Now our rose blooms
and grapes flourish
at last
No more drought and
sadness as in the
past.
Olusegun Arowolo
,Date:8-26-2014
by Maxwell Collier |
Categories:
art,
im the dumbest in my class, but everybody says im smart, i only am in crime, people laugh and i taste tart, im disgusting and repulsive, but i do try not to fart, they will need another clown, so im trying for the part. the county steals my money, there is so much in my cart, i wish i could give love, but i do not have a heart, i dont care if you go cry, i just want to be apart, i graduated from a school, but i did not get a start. academically im dumb, but i know i can make art, i never want to get a car, so i will just stick with Bart, im small just like an ant, but i am big as a mart, every time the people laugh, i feel they shot me with a dart.
by Courtney Grimm |
Categories:
friendship, friend, love, i love you,
I have a friend whose name is Kim
and she has a dad whose name is Jim.
Kim is fun and nice, and sweet
to everyone she's such a treat!
I love Kim with all my heart
and when I'm with her i wanna fart.
Kims so special, so very dear
without her life would be so drear!
She's always my friend without sin
even when my stalker's closing in!
She passed her driving test,
and without fail she was the best!
I love it when she quotes The Ringer
and she is a great great singer!
That fatty shannon can just die,
it wouldn't matter, no one would cry.
Kim Kim I love you so
please don't change into a hoe.
by Sotto Poet |
Categories:
analogy, humorous, longing,
Written: June 21, 2023
POOP Poetry Contest Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON
________________________________________________________________
He admired her from the start,
and she quickly stole his heart.
One thing, though, wasn't fair,
with love mood in the air,
she widespread love with a fart!
by Marinus Jansen |
Categories:
11th grade, 12th grade, feelings, girlfriend, humor, humorous, love, relationship, rude,
I once loved a woman, a Tartar,
who turned out to be a real farter.
When I said it wasn’t polite
and to stop it! at least at night,
she started to fart even harder.
by Jack Ellison |
Categories:
love, thank you,
It's late for this old fart, time for bed
But before that, I want ya to know
Poetry Soup keeps my engine a-running
No secret, my happiness shows
Can't stop grinning from morning till night
People ask “whatcha been smokin'?”
Been living on love it's as simple as that
Your nose sure is a-pokin'
Never known such a bunch of nice people
So nice, each one that I meet
Till it's to the point it feels like a fantasy
Everyone's so loving and sweet!
Poetry Soup is the place for me
Hanging out with all my good friends
Ain't nowhere else I'd rather spend time
All my troubles it surely transcends
© Jack Ellison 2013
by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade,
I stared at his face
Wondering what I had done wrong
He was surely not at fault
Being an angel and all
He stared back day after day after day
My eyes wandered to his face over and over
I put his portrait in a drawer for an hour
But it did not feel right in there
My eye kept wandering to the drawer
Should I take it back out?
What if I met another?
Could I love anyone else with him staring at me?
I ran to the drawer and put his photo back where he could stare at me
While I slept.
Serves him right, I thought knowing how badly I snore and fart.