humor, irony, poetry, writing,
by Michelle Faulkner |
"Rhyming poems have nothing of substance to say
They're childish! Ridiculous! Silly! Passe!
What's that - 'The Raven,' fine prose, you assure?
Pshaw, a talking bird is not Literature!
'The Road Not Taken' - how indecisively trite
'Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day,' why, out of spite?
'How Do I Love Thee' - such female nonsense!
'She Walks in Beauty,' not even past tense!
'Oh Captain, my Captain', just repeats and repeats
'Death Be Not Proud' - indeed, no great feat
Rhyme is over and done, finite, dead
Give me a rambling run-on sentence, instead!"
Sure, it's easy to call Dr. Seuss poppycock
HIS books are world-famous, what have YOU got?
by Tim Smith |
You said age's only a number, beauty's skin deep
Wise words to live by, now if I could only sleep
Humor never can be taken away, have no regrets
Live like there's no tomorrow, an elephant never forgets
Since the day we met, things have been so right
Thankful for our meeting, making spirits bright
No more feeling lonely, no more feeling stressed
Friendships have started, I am feeling blessed
Not a day has passed without a smile on my face
Feeling happy has now become commonplace
Brought together by chance or was it by fate
Any way you put it, my friend, you are truly great
by Tom Cunningham |
There was a lumberjack from Borehamwood
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life now a mess
And it caused him great stress
So he made himself one out of some wood .
He went to bed one night full of desire
Sue his wife put on her sexy attire
Things got steamy and hot
He gave it all he got
But with passion and friction it caught fire .
Written 5th March 2019.
For make me actually LOL 2 poetry contest
Sponsored by Nina Parmenter.
by Joyce Johnson |
Oh don't think that I ain't seein'
As you roll those purty eyes,'
And my man stands there a gawkin'
Like he'd won some sort of prize.
My ma taught me how to keep em
And to cut you down to size.
For there ain't no man worth havin'
Can resist my apple pies.
by Black Eyed Susan |
funny, humorous, journey, poems,
I thought I could wow them with poems from earth
Poems of joy and humor, poems extolling it’s worth
So I laid out poems from Michael, Gail, and me
From Andrea, David, Gwen, and Ilene
From PD, Harry, Mandy, and Chris
From Jack, Craig, Cyndi, and Liz…
For I was sure once they read our beautiful works
They would embrace us and love our humanly quirks!
So last night I taped them all over my skin
Knowing they’d find them if they took me again…
When I woke up, they were gone and I had a reply:
“We enjoyed reading those poems last night,
And thanks for the names of the earthlings too -
We have many more experiments to do!”
For Michael's boomerang...send your poem for a ride contest
by arthur vaso |
I wrote a poem of despair
My hearts been tossed up into the air
She wrote a limerick that was taboo
She made me laugh when I was so blue
Entering stage left was Tim
Writing of past lovers sins in a hymn
It seems that we laugh or we cry
We live, we love, or we die
The three of us, holding poetic swords up high
Throughout the ages we all do fly
No subject goes unspoken
For the freedom of words we've awoken
No battle to long or too fierce
Our duels are true and unrehearsed.
Through blood, sweat and tears
A bond so strong that sweetens the years
All for one and one for all
Let us carry on and have a ball!
by Robert Ronnow |
bird, humor, insect, love, men, poetry, wine,
In the debate between accessible and difficult poems
Poets' poems and poems for people
Only the single poem and private reader matter
Both kinds and anything between can matter or not
Solid or made of air, a vase or heavy clay ashtray
One word repeated or many like a lei
An acquired taste, like wine, and like wine
Not sustenance, yet men die with their miseries
Uncut without it, news and mere matter
I advise everyone to keep a personal anthology of poems that matter
Or not. Perhaps it should be novels. Stones, insect wings,
Feathers, Birds you've seen, People loved.
by Lewis Raynes |
beautiful, beauty, desire, humor, humorous, love, society,
She has a collection, an unusual collection,
Of four thousand and forty two,
Colourful, shapely, dangly rings,
From green to gold to blue,
That she wears from ears, her nose, her lips,
The ones that are on show,
And she wears a heap in other places,
But there I will not go,
Her arms both glitter, her legs glisten,
Her neck’s a twinkle on display,
She’s a shiny beautiful colourful star,
When she walks throughout the day,
From hoops, to drops, to barbell hugs,
She loves wearing tiny rocks,
But no one can actually see her now,
She’s become a walking jewellery box.
by Rhona McFerran |
food, humor, humorous, silly,
Love me or hate me
few people can take me
plain, unadulterated, true to myself
their compulsive need to gussy me up
or completely disguise me
gives me nightmares...
The worst is where
they try to make me
Suffocated in sauces, sweet relish
and pickled beets
garnished with green olives
and fussy-cut vienna sausages
all dancing in fancy chorus lines
on top of me
Oh No! I can't take it...
It just can't be!
What are they thinking?!
I awake with a snug sensation
as something warmish
down my back
by Bruce Adams |
Oh, love from a distance
Such passion is mine
I never thought possible
An ocean's deep mystery line
Soulmate's hearts beat as one
From only the written word
Openness, honesty, is all it takes
World history, such passion unheard
Her beauty astounding, angel in disguise
Jealous Kings of Europe would have fought war
Her kindness and humor melt coldest hearts
Brilliant and creative too, she makes my heart soar
My distant soulmate, who I may never meet
Shared love from a distance, a powerful, magical feat
by Nina Parmenter |
fun, funny, horse, humor, humorous, poets,
“O to dwell in the past!” yearned the poet. “How nice!”
“The words of today are so coarse!”
So he wallowed in syphilis, sadness and lice,
Wrote a sonnet, then married his horse.
He sat with dear Dobbin ‘neath shimm’ring skies,
as they supped on warm ale and hard cheese,
crying “Yonder, the moon shineth o’er the rise!”
“Pray my love, fetch my quill if ye please.”
Deep into the gloaming the poet didst muse,
as the horse she fell weary and bitter,
He cried “Tarry! Thine face is the bounty I choose!”
Dobbin smiled, and then trolled him on Twitter.
11 May 2019
by Poet Destroyer A |
adventure, caregiving, celebration, confusion, desire, feelings, funny, humor, identity, life, october,
Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
Balance of truth and dare
Good and Evil, full of care
Blind when it comes to blood line
by arthur vaso |
beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,
Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state
by James Fraser |
fun, funny love, giggle, humor, people, silly, tree,
Two poets who couldn't agree
Raise their voices to their loud pleas
One wasn't able to stop
His zip open, out pops!
Haha, it's a pea, not the size of a tree
©J. A. Fraser and O. E. Guillermo 15.18pm, April 07, 2015
by JAN ALLISON |
humor, poetry, writing,
My words flow freely
Once my brain gets into the groove
If possible I try my best to write with humour
Because laughter is the best medicine … and it is much cheaper than a prescription!
Contest – Fibonacci – Rob Carmack
Checked with how many syllables 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21
~awarded 15th place~
by Brian Morton |
desire, humor, innocence, loneliness, love, science, youth,
If love is a drug
my chemist doesn't have it.
Where can I find some?
by James Fraser |
I so love this form called Footle
It allows the poet to doodle
With so few words
Whether right or absurd
Now read , short trip, lets tootle
< ;-) >
by Jamila Strong |
anniversary, girlfriend-boyfriend, love
Step 1, take two friends before they are lovers
Show them how to share with oneanother
Add a slice of intinmacy of becoming one
Like holding hands under the sun
Now subtract the bitterness and add the sweet
The flavor of a kiss should taste like a treat
Give her a compliment and 1 soft caress
Then rest your head against his chest
1 cup of humor and 1/2 a cup of concern
A pinch of assertiveness
But too much will burn!
100 kisses a day will keep the doctor away
A drop of hope then mix in family and friends
Your recipe for love
Will never come to an end.
by Viv Wigley |
An idiom by which she's always stuck
is 'having one's head buried in a book'
The truth behind it, she was unprepared
that morning as she went to climb the stairs.
Stopping to lift a bottle, bad mistake
especially when one isn't quite awake
her balance gone, could not control herself
now plunging headlong into the book shelf.
Bruised head, bruised knees,bruised pride was quite enough,
thankfully, make-up would disguise the scuffs.
But then she only went and made it worse
by saying that it would make a good verse.
Hopefully next time she will be wiser
and not tell me, but tell 'Trip Advisor'
29th August 2016
With love, Connie, from Viv x
by Carolyn Devonshire |
I thank our Lord for the blessings bestowed:
Even though my wound still oozes, my skin cancer was completely removed
My fingernails are unusually strong and I have emery board access
The food I eat may be cheap and meager, but at least it keeps me alive
Much free time is mine because little work is available
How lucky I am to have friends who will laugh and cry with me at life’s troubles
I appreciate the ability to love and show compassion
Thankfully, I don’t drool too much when I eat
And most of all I am blessed with a sense of humor
* For Dane Ann’s “Blessings” contest. (Yes, my cholesterol truly is that high.)
by Jerry T Curtis |
Well I love my little poodlab-shitziddle
Though His paws are really large and his legs are rather small
And his body's kind-a chubby 'round the middle
His hair is like it's crocheted to his body
But he's covered by some bangs both north and south
Which make his feeding time, for me quite awkward
"Cause, I'm not sure at what end I"ll find his mouth
by Cona Adams |
bible, creation, cute love, humor, humorous,
God creates male and female
A Slight Improvement
All it took was one rib,
Adam wouldn’t miss it.
Look what he gained.
At first sight, he uttered
an ancient word the equivalent
of the modern, “Wow!”
From the best use of a rib
of all time, came a creature
capable of charm, seduction,
procreation, gentleness, envy,
love, virtue, loyalty, jealousy,
deceit, and an affinity for salt.
Though she came from man,
she seeks always to best him,
and considers herself superior
in every way. After all, she has
that extra rib.
First Appeared in Galaxy of Verse.
by Edward Ibeh |
drug, humor, love, romantic,
Look in your eyes unveils a smoldering ember that could make Gibraltar crumble.
One in a million heart that magically kindles fire without matches. Nothing...
Ventured, nothing gained in this rewarding game of love; a four letter word that
Emanates such sweet ecstasy. And no, I don't mean the drug.
Universal Acrostic Collaboration Poetry Contest/Winner(1st Place)
Sponsored by: Steven Henderson
Date written: and posted 04/01/2016
by Teddy Kimathi |
funny, funny love, green, humor, humorous, imagery, relationship,
"What do we have for breakfast?"
"Lettuce and cabbage juice!" she
She had forced him to change
his blue pajamas to green
pajamas, then he returns
to bed -
the bed had to have green sheets,
green bed cover, and a green
"Why do you do this to me?!" he asks.
"I was born in St. Patrick's Day!!!"
He can't wait for a green light
to escape a world where
everything he hates is green.
He's afraid he's lost her love in the greenness....
by Charles Hamouth |
conflict, crazy, love hurts, relationship,
Preposterous, I am not a junk-food addict!
The recipe was good;
The presentation was great;
The final dish, however, was disappointing.
It could have used a teaspoon full of warmth
And maybe a dash of humor.
A crowd pleaser, at first, to be sure,
But not worth the effort.