Two Lovers Xi - Carefully Chosen Words
He is looking at her a bit sanctimoniously
He is about to mansplain again
"Am I spooking you?" he asks grinning
"I'm not trying to propose, Cutie.
God no. Could you imagine?
I just think it's possible, you know?
I'm just saying I can see a path?"
Is this kid joking?
He's a mess!
Sure he is smart and can be charming
when he is not being irritating
But it's like her parents said
This is not really long-term
This should just be fun
Because he acts like a fifteen-year-old
half the time
"I just always thought of us
as college sweethearts" she says
"You're my college boyfriend.
Why does it need to be more than that?"
He looks at her funny.
Uh oh.
She bruised his tender ego.
Ugh.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks
He's starting to lose his temper
but trying not to. He tries to joke.
"I'm a carton of milk?
Am I getting past my expiration date?"
She giggles, and says, "No no.
You know what I mean, Silly"
"So what?" he asks with mock chagrin,
"You gonna dump me when I graduate?
...that's in, like, seven months...
...well, it would be..."
-No it won't be because you're irresponsible
and you'll be in school an extra year
'cause you screwed around too much-
she thinks but doesn't say
"No, no," she says again smiling
"I mean when I graduate..."
She immediately regrets the words
He stands up quickly
"What the f#ck?" he says angrily
"I didn't mean it that way..." she begins
"What? I'm some kinda piece of crap?" he says
his voice rising, interrupting her.
"I'm gone when you're finished slumming?"
"Hey! You jerk! I didn't say that"
she says defensively
Her anger is rising too.
After all the times this kid
mooched off of her in the last thirteen months!
He has the temerity to say that?
As if money matters to her!
"What the hell, man?!"
He plops back down on her couch
arms on his knees
"I was just saying I could see us getting
married someday.
Not today.
Not for years.
But someday. Jeez!"
She is standing by the dining table
in her little townhouse
thinking that this boy is just
too unrealistic to live
To her credit
money and family circumstance
really never does enter the calculation for her
like it does her parents
But there are other things
that are very important to her
She almost says it to him.
Almost says:
- Get marriage right out of your head!
It will never happen-
- Why?- he would ask
-Because you're not *****************
Because you're not ****************
Because you're ******* -
-And then she would shrug at him
when he gets upset
matter-of-factly
To let him know
The sky is blue
And the two of them will NEVER get married
That they will NOT last past school
and those facts are simple truths of the universe-
It would serve him right
The words almost pass her lips
But then she sees his face
And the hurt feelings residing there
It would be too much for him
If she mentioned religion, ethnicity, etc.
or anything like that
He would take it badly
Maybe worse than she imagines
He would act like it was not a big deal
At first
But it would eat at him
gnaw at him
She knows him well enough to know
he couldn't handle that
Even if it is true
At least, she thinks it's true
He would eventually lash out
Maybe in irreparable ways
His temper would get control of him
and his temper was worse when it burned
Slow and cold.
She may have said too much already
She prides herself on being
brutally honest
but decides now is not the time
She comes over and sits on the couch
Puts her hand on his knee, saying
"I'm just saying I don't think it's a good idea
to raise those kind of expectations
to make those kind of plans.
We're too young"
"I know THAT," he says
She slides next to him while he speaks
and puts a leg over his
"I was just saying that there...
could be...a path"
His eyes get a little bigger as his breath catches
He's already distracted from his upset
Such a simple boy
"Look, I was just saying..."
She throws her leg over and sits
fully in his lap
Straddling him and pressing against him
Her hands clasped behind his neck
He stops talking
and his fingers find their favorite place
on her behind
"You're distracting me," he complains
but he doesn't try to move
"Yep," she says, and shrugs
"I thought I was supposed to tell you what's up.
I'm the Senior. You're the Sophomore"
She flips her long silky brown hair
over one shoulder
He loves it when she does that
He loves her hair
"But, Sweetie," she coos,
rolling her eyes exagerratedly
"You're the one who's sooo Sophomoric"
"Bad pun," he grumbles. "Dork..."
"Jerk"
She kisses him
He is instantly interested and intense
and so is she
God! He is such a good kisser!
How is it like this for them so easily?
So compatible
In one special, sensual
and beautiful way
But then so difficult
with many other things
She would think again
that her parents were right
But thought escapes her
as her breathing comes faster
She lets out a little squeak
as he picks her up in his strong arms
still holding her bottom
turning and laying her down
onto her back on the couch
His kisses trail down her neck
proceeding lower
his hands fumbling with the button
of her jeans
She feels it pop loose
As her jeans begin to slide off
She smiles
Putting her hands in his soft sandy hair
and only thinks now
of being with him tonight
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