To Heal Thyself
My life, my death ...
I appreciate the concern, really
I know you're the kind of person who feels responsible for everyone
I've always known that, and it's not a bad thing
I honestly admire that SO much, and wish I could be more like you
But here's the thing that I don't believe you're considering:
I don't WANT to be saved ... for any reason
There's a point in life, (for some people, certainly not all)
Of diminishing returns, thus ...
Where the pain - emotional, mental or physical, (or all three)
Overwhelms the desire to be alive ... to be here
And, in the grand scheme of things, a person can NOT be denied that choice
Outwardly it may seem like the grand thing, the compassionate thing
The caring and kind thing, to "save" a person's life
But in SO many instances, as I have witnessed and learned
A life is not being SAVED, a DEATH is being denied
A human is being robbed of the choice to END that suffering and agony
And that is not a good or kind or thoughtful thing at all
I know this is hard for you to hear, but listen with your heart and understand
I hurt, in every way imaginable, and it is not going away
And though I love you with all I am, and embraced life with my being
I have reached the breaking point, I am DONE ... and I must go
I adore you so, especially for this need you have to repair the world
But you must release me, and do so with love ...
For I don't need saving, I need understanding and allowance
I need you to know that I will never be farther away than your heart
That I am leaving for good reasons, that my pain is lifted
That I will miss you, and that my spirit will finally be free ... to soar
Do not let fall any tears of sadness for my sake
Let those damp drops be badges of joy for my healing
Let each one fall with a happy remembrance of good times
And let them wash any doubt or guilt from your mind and spirit ...
My life, my death ... I love you.
(This is a view of suicide that many people fail to consider, and a subject that we must talk about much more than we do ... I am making no judgements here).
|