Thoughts of You
We've been doing this thing "this thing" since June and I try not to think about you or "it" too much but truth is I do cause now your a part of me and my memories and I always come back around to thinking about how much I love how u smell behind your ears when your horny, and the grunts u make I can feel vibrate in me, I think of how much u look like that comedian from the show I like that u still haven't watched with me when u smirk a certain way, and when I feel like I'm annoying you while your ignoring me I envision how ur eyebrows look so much darker and sharper when your annoyed with me, when I send you a funny text I picture your exaggerated motions and can almost hear your cute little sarcastic throat laugh,I hate that I love watching you sleep after you pass out on my love seat cause my food put you to sleep,I like that you are humored when I send u funny memes I make with your pictures ,my little narritives show u that I get you, I still laugh every time I see a cucumber or pickle because of the time u asked me where I buy the pickles to make the pickles, but the reason that these things are so hauntingly bittersweet is cause u don't feel the same for me, you don't crave to be next to me, you hardly even care about having sex with me, can hardly be bothered to send a text to me ..you know unless of course your bored and restless than I must run to you to wash away any chance of you feeling reckless, always stepping in and out of the door way ,a sway a dance with you, for you, but your not holding my hips and embracing me ,you are just pulling strings that my infatuation and your lies imbedded in me, your names is threaded in me, on my heart in my mind you reside, would be nice to go back to June and never answer your message on that dating app without ever responding, sweet irony u saught me out only to ignore me ,how "cute" of you to be so ugly to me, one day I'll truly quit you, and you'll miss your experience of me,and then maybe when the thoughts of you fade from my mind, only then will I live in yours,and you'll think back on that loving giving girl you overlooked and took for granted and think I wish I could go back to when I still had a chance with her ,I've been so blind ,I couldn't see all the ways she was there for me, how I was always on her mind ,how I wasted her time, how she could of been mine but all I ever did was hurt her and lie, she noticed things in me that others were too distracted with self to see, she saw through me and my dark like no other had before but she didn't judge me for it, she just danced with my demons for awhile so they would take a break from me, she always suffered so I could feel free,and maybe he'll think I'm stuck in thoughts of you when I finally am nowhere to be seen
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