The Love That Hurts
The greatest joy I have ever known is knowing you are calling on Monday at five thirty in
the morning before school.
"Hello, how are you?" and "I'll talk to you later."
Every word from hello to goodbye is cherished.
Your smile makes me warm inside, and how much you mean to me puts tears in my eyes.
I really think I love you. Actually, every fiber of my being is pretty sure I love you.
Warmth and acceptance and peace and deep contentment...
But there is a drawback.
I fear to loose you.
You are across the country, a thousand miles away, and I've let you down enough to
encourage you to focus on your college work, because that's important to you. and because
of that, it's important to me.
Except I can't encourage you to leave.
I can't encourage you to go.
Reader, my dear friend, as selfish as it is, I can't loose you.
I always thought that when you found the one you want to be with, the love would make
everything work.
I never expected it to hurt
Because as much as I love you, it would destroy me if you were lost. And I think about
loosing you a lot.
It's crippling, and horrid, and with something as unrealistic as daydreams, I know what it
feels like to burn. I can't imagine what it would do to me if it actually happened.
I am afraid to love you. I'm afraid to pick up the phone sometimes when you call, but not
for any amount of money in the world or any incentive would I ignore that phone.
The reason for that is that i love your laugh.
When I'm talking to you, you help clear my mind and I can think.
And the biggest reason, Reader, is because I am happy when I talk to you.
I love you. And you are precious beyond words and you are everything to me.
I have a love that hurts and it scares the crap out of me
And I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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