It Was Never Enough
I just can’t believe it’s actually over. I loved him with all my heart. I was willing to sacrifice everything for him; my job, my family, my life here. I would have done it too. I would have moved there to be with him. It would have been worth it. Because to me, love is always worth it. I dreamed everyday he wasn’t ****ing here of him and I together. I would think of us constantly. All of what could be running through my head; our conversations, kissing, meeting, making love. I thought I knew what was to come. I was hopeful and excited for the future. I would count the months left until we could meet. I would count the money I had that would get me there. I would wait up for him at night and leave my phone next to me in the mornings. I sacrificed so much of myself, my time and my heart for him. And he doesn’t love me back.
I can’t believe I was so naïve and stupid. How did I actually let all of this happen? How did I not see the writing on the wall? It seems so clear now, so obvious he didn’t want me. But I didn’t care. I wanted him to want me, I wanted us I wanted love so badly I did everything in my power to keep him here. But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.
|