It (This Used To Be a Story In Paragraph Form)
Its truly difficult to put everything I'm feeling into words this way.
I don't know what to think
I don't know what to do.
I'm partly confused and partly in another world.
I can't find a way to describe myself at this present time.
I'm a hodgepodge of things no one can understand.
When I sleep, its all I think about.
When I'm awake, it's all i think about.
During class, when I need ultimate concentration, it's still all i think about.
I'm a mishmosh of feelings only I can interpret.
Every single day it brushes my thoughts aside and makes room for itself in my head.
It kicks the school thoughts out of my mind and sits there, refusing to move, plaguing my brain with constant
thinking.
I can't explain it, and if you guess it, you'll probably be wrong.
When I try to listen to other people I might drift away from the conversation because of it.
I've neglected others because of it
And given attention to others as well
And to some, I've left as is, nothing has changed between me and them because of it.
Some try to help me with it, and succeed with the minor things, and fail with the complications, because it's
impossible to understand.
I can't say it, but I can hint it.
I can't put it out in the open yet.
I'm timing myself with it.
But each day is like another 5 years.
It's making time go by slower and slower
Wanting me to finally free it from my head and make it a reality, but I try to ignore it.
It's then that it finds me in my slumber
I consistently dream about it, and wake up at the early morning hours.
It recurs three or four times a night before I get up to go to school.
I daydream about it too.
It wants to be free, but I'm not ready.
And I don't think you are either
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