If You Only Knew
Dustin,
My best friend, My x boyfriend, and the one I’m still in love with.
I know I have a boyfriend and he just happens to be your best friend too, but if I had the chance to tell you everything I would.
You and I still love each other like we did 3 years ago, but there’s nothing we can do about it.
I cant leave my boyfriend because I to scared of everything that will happen.
I do love him and I do love you, but Who do I love more?
The one weekend I Saw you this year was the best weekend I've ever had.
We walked around like there was nothing else going on in the world.
The biggest smiles on our face, My lipstick on your lips, and the love in our eyes.
You and I even sang together on the park bench for the world to hear.
Shinedown is our favorite band because we both fit like perfect puzzle pieces in all their songs.
I can't describe the way you made me feel with your big blue eyes, and the way you lifted me up like I was as light as a feather.
I know people might say if I love you so much then why don't I leave him.
My answer is simple: I'm scared of being hurt… again.
Sure, every girl is sacred of a heart break but this girl?
The bipolar , depressed, starving, love hungry, emotional, girl isn’t just scared she's terrified.
I do I love my boyfriend, but I don’t know who I love more.
Sure Dustin you broke up with me on my birthday 3 years ago, but we all make mistakes.
So for this years birthday you got me a beautiful “J” necklace, the color of my birthstone.
I know it might not sound like that makes up for it but the way I feel with you makes me feel invincible.
Every night we would go up to the hill, smoke a cigarette, and just hold each other.
So if I had the opportunity to tell you one thing that I regret not telling you.
It's that I love you and the way you make me feel more then everything in the whole world... except for Tyler, my boyfriend.
I'm sorry Dustin.
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