I Am Supposed To Be a Human Being
I had a happy childhood at first
Yeah I played with dolls to a tragic
Extent. It was a dream of some
Type of female existence. I was
Almost to young to remember the
Two year old boy I used to be.
I had memories of another me.
I began to realize, as I heard
Relatives arguing about a little
Girl. "No she is a boy!" "She
Should wear boy clothes, why do
You buy her dresses!" I wondered
Who could they be arguing about
Then I recognized, it was me!
That is why I often sought boy
Company. I didn't give a DAMN
What the doctors said. Yeah!
In my head I was the one my
DEAD BLACK FATHER'S SON!
I was a dream in my own reality
Supreme!! In somebody else's
World, to them I was just a
Little black girl but... I knew the
Truth. Someone had ripped my
Genitalia! Made me unnatural
An abomination! My dreams
My aspirations. A failure!
My ANATOMY!! was my destiny
Now to bleed? Between my legs
Was a lie. Mutilation! I was a
Little girl? I cried, I wanted to
Become the man that I am!
That my father was. He loved!
I thought who had committed
This atrocity against me. My
Mind screamed. WHERE IS MY
BOY ANATOMY!!
This was traumatic. As I grew I,
In 1980 or maybe 1992 I knew.
I was a man without my life no
Longer between my legs. So
What did this make me? Somebody
Have carved me a Man-made
Anatomy. Making me a gender
Bender?! This SHOULD NOT BE!!
A TRANSGENDER ATROCITY!!
I AM A MAN!! WITHOUT MY
DNA PLAN!!
OH DAMN!! This will not stand!
I feel as though I am the only one.
My dead black father's
GENDERLESS SON. No synthetic
Hormones man made Testosterone
I have got my own. YESSS! I AM
A MAN! THEY named me
VALERIE on the surgeon's table.
But I grew regardless of what
Anybody else wanted. I would
Become my own reality.
Knowbody will control this angry
Man. No transgender rhetoric no
Bible beliefs. please. I am nobody's
Woman. I am the unapologetic
Nonconforming supposed to be
Wants to be like my forefathers.
All of those ANATOMICALLY
CORRECT MEN! I WANT TO BE
THEM!! Y- CHROMOSOME SEED
NO APOLOGIES!!
The definition of MANHOOD IS
to FIGHT against the ODDS no
Matter what!! I AM!!
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