Consequences of Infatuation
out of everything that i’ve ever been told in my life
out of all the things that have been said to me that render me
obligated to shove a coy smile and an aloof
“thank you”
into the hands of whoever was speaking,
the heartfelt anecdotes
that have stuck with me the most
are the ones to have been branded and signed by you
the way you worded them
made me sound so much more valuable
than anything i’ve ever heard before
the focal point being
“you’re the kind of person someone leaves their entire life behind for”
and what bloomed
from the seeds
you planted in my garden
is something i thought i’d never lose
something i’d tried to protect so heavily
perhaps too heavily
but now i must ask, are you as comfortable with her in your arms are you claimed to be in mine?
do you miss her warmth on nights you’re alone in your own bed?
or is it mine that you sought after at 5am?
have you said things to her that even remotely resemble the things you’ve said to me?
or did you just copy and paste?
do you still expect me to believe that i meant anything different
to anything you’ve felt with her,
when your claim to be too busy in your head
actually meant too busy in her bed?
did you think i was being playful
when i told you that
i’m always aware
of when i am being deceived.
had you taken me seriously the first time
perhaps i wouldn’t be straining myself
trying not to completely push you away.
under any other circumstances
i would’ve had to remind you
that no matter what you do
and no matter what i say,
you will always be weak for me
but you already know that
and that is going to be the
end of us both.
~ r.a
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