Oh beautiful birth control, how wonderful you play,
You bring so much joy to my life.
You’re like my religion, I can embrace everyone,
Especially my neighbour’s blonde wife.
Every morning after, I fall, fall from grace off my bed,
Fall right onto my knees and pray.
I pray to you, my birth control friend,
No kids spawned from me, not from this castaway.
Oh my beautiful birth control, I love you so much,
I love how you conquer from her trench.
Now, I need to prepare for tonight’s sexy battle,
I need to clean, and remake, my nightly workbench.