Big Word
What was I hoping for? Why are you haunting my thoughts?
Burnt images in my mind ; her smile I’m trapped in something that I wish I wasn’t , told her many times I hated how she made me feel. Just to close, to real to feel this way. I couldn’t stand it. I’m doing my best to maintain the emotional hold that you have on me. You could be as close as next door, I’m still missing you, wishing you would just say the things that you told me in the past. I should have known it wouldn’t last. How much time can, will I endure not being able to see, touch, kissing you behind your neck as I’m holding you close, knowing sooner or later I will have to let go. How soon have you forgotten who I was? Have you? I hear you speaking to me under the cover in a white sheet, our moment of peace. Your “Big Word” means more to me than anything that I have heard. One more time just say it, please. I hear things clearly, your voices down the hall calling out to me. That smile, no, not that smile, breaks my heart every time I think I’m going to be without you. I have open letters that you may never read expressing my emotional thoughts I have.
How am I supposed to get through this? Why am I feeling this way?
The moments we shared, the times the stars were the brightest in the sky, holding you in the moon light kissing the side of your neck. What am I thinking, why am I feeling the way I am feeling. Every day I ask myself why, as I’m Dreaming about you hoping that I saw you one last time, to listen closely to your words; then that moment you looked back at me, walking away. Time skipped over us every moment down to the second. I big word you to, missing you; wish I could tell you as we face each other, just one more time
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