Love Poems About Limerick or Limerick Love Poems
by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: funny, humor,

Chainsaw Blues - Bawdy Limerick Lol

There was a lumberjack from Borehamwood 
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life now a mess 
And it caused him great stress
So he made himself one out of some wood .  
                         ~
He went to bed one night full of desire
Sue his wife put on her sexy attire 
Things got steamy and hot 
He gave it all he got  
But with passion and friction it caught fire . 




Written 5th March 2019.

For make me actually LOL 2 poetry contest 

Sponsored by Nina Parmenter.

by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!

by Mary Nagy |
Categories: angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,

Princess Needs a New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.


by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, holiday

Valentine's Day Musings

All year long he puts my heart on a shelf
No surprise I’d rather be by myself
     If there’s no Valentine treat
     From this worthless hunk of meat
He can go on making love to himself

Remember there’s an “I” in Valentine
So if no one’s around to say, “Be mine”
     Just splurge – get a new hairdo
     Party with an all-girl crew
Check out the divorce rate and say, “I’m fine”




*For Francine's Valentine Limerick contest

by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: funny, humor,

3 Musketeers a Collaboration With Casarah Nance and Tim Smith

I wrote a poem of despair 
My hearts been tossed up into the air 

She wrote a limerick that was taboo 
She made me laugh when I was so blue 

Entering stage left was Tim 
Writing of past lovers sins in a hymn 

It seems that we laugh or we cry 
We live, we love, or we die 

The three of us, holding poetic swords up high 
Throughout the ages we all do fly 

No subject goes unspoken 
For the freedom of words we've awoken 

No battle to long or too fierce 
Our duels are true and unrehearsed. 

Through blood, sweat and tears 
A bond so strong that sweetens the years 

All for one and one for all 
Let us carry on and have a ball!

by Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories: butterfly, funny love,

Blushing Butterflies

Butterflies have the quietest wings
Defying the weight of their flutterings
Your red face has shown
What you did not want known
Your fight to keep them from escaping




10.02.2019

Writing Challenge, October - Butterfly -
Sponsor, Dear heart - Wiishkobi Ode

by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: betrayal, culture, love, lust, romance, sensual, sexy,

Came Alot

Queen Guinevere was quite a sight
When Arthur returned from a fight
He looked up and down
Then said with a frown,
"You look like you've had a rough knight!"

Arthur opened the bedroom door
Where clothes lay all over the floor
"This looks rather bad,"
Said Sir Gal He Had,
"I've mistaken your wife for an whore."

There's more to the story than that
The Kingdom of Arthur fell flat
But Queen Guinevere
Did not shed one tear
For she loved to give tit for tat!

by Geoffrey Brewer |
Categories: lost love, sea,

Sad Sea Tale

SAD SEA TALE

There was once an old man of the ocean
For a mermaid he had a devotion
But instead of two pins
She’d a tail and some fins
Which precluded their harmonic motion

But in spite of her disparate corpus
They maintained their romance polymorphous
‘Til a herring one day
Brought a message to say
That she’d gone off to live with a porpoise


[Gift for a lady]

by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Nearly Dearly and Still Sincerely

Nearly Dearly and Still Sincerely

Was almost sudden true love nearly,
Yet still to death did love her dearly,
Then in a grove,
Found treasure trove,
Simply, apparently and so sincerely.

Jim Horn

by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: fun, tribute, writing,

A Very Cunning Ham

There is a very cunning ham named Tom
Pens side-splitting limericks with aplomb
   When Soupers are down
   Tom removes their frowns
And their funny bones explode like a bomb 





              We love you, Tom!

by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: lust,

Catty Schism

In the Catholic Schools of the West
All students are put to a test
Their head must go South
With an open mouth
To measure who comes off the best

A priest is never too fickle
An Adam's Apple to tickle
No need to repent
Its all Heaven-sent
The meek love sucking a pickle

Virile men should become a priest
So many are needed back East
Beneath every frock
Likes a ticking clock
Hungry mouths in need of a feast

The Bible predicts that a beast
Will plunder the Great and the Least
So you can do more
To even the score
When you serve this world as a priest!

by Silent One |
Categories: fun,

Long distance lust - bawdy warning!

There was a horny man from Timbuktu.
Fell in love with a girl from Kathmandu.
Bursting with desire and lust.
Felt she's the one he can trust.
Asked for a game of sexy peekaboo.

Finally switched on their video chat,
but he realised he had been a prat.
Slowly lifting her pink frock,
revealed a ginormous ****.
The shock almost gave him a heart attack!

by Sotto Poet |
Categories: appreciation, valentines day,

The Rose



In crimson its beauty would show A symbol of love, pure and true With thorns it would swarm Love's not always warm But worth every prick that we go through

by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: candy, drink, love, sky, stars, uplifting, words,

Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day is a day for love
do you want to be my turtle dove
are you as sweet as candy
here is a glass of brandy
let's go out and watch the stars above

by Skat A |
Categories: adventure, brother, fantasy, funny, funny love, giggle, girlfriend,

Monkey See

Monkey See~

There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s 
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank

*

Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?

~ Skat ~

Contest~

by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: adventure, caregiving, celebration, confusion, desire, feelings, funny, humor, identity, life, october,

Sweet and Salty -Libra Tale

LIBRA  TALE

Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
   Balance of truth and dare
   Good and Evil, full of care 
Blind when it comes to blood line


 
:) PD

by Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories: giggle, holiday, love,

- Rio De Janeiro and Carl -

Carl is still in Rio
He is hooked on the casino
Sweet love in moonlight
Cherry musk all night
His libido is like a volcano













01.03.2018
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
6-8-5 -5 -10 syllables
www.howmanysyllables.com

by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: husband, nature, wife

-divorce Club-

~~ Divorce  Club~~


Haiku   * divorce trip *
---------
broken promises
eclipse of the sun and moon
dreams that fall like leafs.

Limerick  * never settle*
------------
Like a  gun to my head of course
I married the end of a horse
love was never real,
kids no big deal.
Wow! I gain more money after divorce!

Couplet   * forever vows *
------------
I meant them words "for better or worse" during our holy matrimony
The better now has hit me, once  the Court ordered alimony:-)
 
by;p.d.

**OKAY I'M NOT GOOD AT EXAMPLES**

by Niketa Mckenzie |
Categories: funny, lost love, love,

One Night Stand

Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub

by Constance La France |
Categories: funny,

Happiness

 
A kitty who was not born all that strong, and with a love for LASAGNA life long; drippy, rich, creamy, chewy, Garfield's serendipity. HAPPINESS is enjoying, right or wrong. _________________________ May 20, 2015 Poetry/Limerick/Happiness Copyright Protected, ID 05- 675-670-20 All Rights Reserved, 2015, Constance La France

by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous,

Rodger and His Lodger

There once was a young man called Rodger Who’s very transfixed with his todger From morning till night He gets his delight Now he shares his bed with his lodger The lodger her name was Sandy Was always ready and randy They’d make love all night But then they took fright When Rodgers legs went all bandy Submitted to New or Old 5 Contest Sponsored by Eve Roper 29 ~12~14

by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: love

Words Unspoken

He held my hand, not one word was spoken

Then a ring he offered as a token

     He could not ask for marriage

     For fear I might disparage

His eyes conveyed sentiments unspoken




* Entry for Adeleke's "Unspeakable Love" contest

by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: childhood, funny

Eying the Babe

Ah, my brother is finally sleeping
Through my head mischievous thoughts are creeping
     It’s my time to shine now
     To him I won’t kowtow
All of the attention I’ll be keeping
 
I’ll make the best use of this special time
Beg for more after each nursery rhyme
     I’ll play with his best toys
     Till he makes the first noise
Because then I’ll just be admired part time
 

By Carolyn Devonshire
For Miranda Lambert’s Brotherly Love contest
April 23, 2011

by Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories: lust,

A Quickie

Busy lives hinder love making sessions
This leads to sadly many depressions
        Ten minutes of good fun
      Connect now with your one
A quickie is much needed and freshens

Cecilia Macfarlane
06/20/2014
 
~ For Skat's ' A Quickie' contest ~

by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, funny love, giggle, humor, people, silly, tree,

Out Pops - a Collab With Olive Eloisa Guillermo

Two poets who couldn't agree Raise their voices to their loud pleas One wasn't able to stop His zip open, out pops! Haha, it's a pea, not the size of a tree ©J. A. Fraser and O. E. Guillermo 15.18pm, April 07, 2015