Love Poems About Funny or Funny Love Poems
by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: adventure, animal, beautiful, blessing, celebrity, funny, life,

The Squirrel

~My Nutty Squirrel Poem~

Up in a tree, on a branch
Now you see me, now you don't!

Sneaky and fast, I'm adorable
Now, why would you hunt or shot me for fun?
Do you like, how fast I run?
I'm not just another chipmunk 
Stuffing my face with nuts,
I'm classy and beautiful, 
The  best  part  of   nature.....

Red pointed ears, I hear you drawing near.
Chuckle, chuckle, caffeine free
I saw you looking at my fine coat.
Fluffy and curious, touch me and I'm Calling PETA!
See YA---  Life Is Beautiful!!!
I'm stuffing these nuts back into my mouth 
and Jumping onto another tree :) The End
........
Love The Squirrel from another World.  
Love LINDA

by Daniel Turner |
Categories: funny love,

If I Were the One For Nicola

If only I could make my way to Paris
To search the boulevards and rainy rues
I'd look to find my lonely heart an heiress
An Irish lass vacationing her muse

We'd find a quiet cafe' on the Seine
Where we could sit and share a laugh or two
By candlelight we'd toast with French champagne
Pretend that we were on our honeymoon

But how could I convince her I'm the one
To make all of her fantasies come true
She knows there's more to life than having fun
In Paris hearts get easily confused

I'd get down on one knee under the stars
Give her the paper ring off my cigar



   an original poem by Daniel Turner

by Daniel Turner |
Categories: funny, love, sad,

How Long

I've never kissed a pig with my eyes closed
Nor have I ever held a hand of time
However, there was once when I proposed
But that was back when I was in my prime

I still recall how much she loved to dance
She'd laugh at me and make my face turn red
She taught me all the secrets of romance
That love was what one did, not what one said

I search the shadows for her purple hue
I take her mem'ry everywhere I go
Its smile has it's own special shade of blue
Its  taste so sweet no one could ever know

They tell me only time mends broken hearts
I wonder just how long before it starts.



   by Daniel Turner


by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: funny, humor,

Chainsaw Blues - Bawdy Limerick Lol

There was a lumberjack from Borehamwood 
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life now a mess 
And it caused him great stress
So he made himself one out of some wood .  
                         ~
He went to bed one night full of desire
Sue his wife put on her sexy attire 
Things got steamy and hot 
He gave it all he got  
But with passion and friction it caught fire . 




Written 5th March 2019.

For make me actually LOL 2 poetry contest 

Sponsored by Nina Parmenter.

by Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories: funny love, woman,

Disarming Disarray

Out there
With her flair for chasing inspiration 
She draws you in her reason
Connecting dots and constellations

Tripping

She takes you by the hand
Her world as messy as her mind
You need a guide

And as you wade through her chaff
Her heaps of half thoughts
Her every whim expressed
The only thing you know for sure is

Out there exists





Date: 11.19.2019

Contest Name: Disarray

Sponsor: Nina Parmenter

by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: art, dark, evil, funny, humorous, internet,

Modern Poetry

Skip ad
poem will resume very soon
wait
pause
turn off ad block
and
ad blocker
get dressed
is not that kind of poem
vote
please favorite me
I am flavor to be
like me
love me
photoshop me
pause for second ad
add ads, subtract ads
multiply wine ads
get more wine
is a long damn add
ok
bought the Mercedes
make love
to words
iPassion
is in
snap snap and chat
latex friendships
hollywood dreams
with amex
I never leave home
there she rests
in the trunk
blood mixed
with that new car smell
everything is modern these days
even my jail cell

by Michelle Faulkner |
Categories: funny love, silly,

Heartache's Milkshakes

On this merry-go-round

     Of breakups and breakdowns

Singing the blues

     In our ding-a-ling shoes

We take our heartache's milkshakes

     Spiked with itty-bitty pity

Before we tangle and wrangle

     In the rebound playground.

4/16/20

Poem of the Day
April 18, 2020

by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!

by Skat A |
Categories: fantasy, funny,

Sexy Who'

"Sexy Who" *Summer* sand, oozing through toes water down my swimsuit piece how I love the sun *Summer* new sun-rays run my soul wind swims around my pale skin sunburn, ouch! *Dizzy* strong & Long Lasting The Viagra moment fades power by the sun *Jerk Around* secret moment Vixen photos of my youth rock hard & bigger ~SKAT~

by A.O. Taner |
Categories: august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,

Hope

Don't rush to wash off the sea salt 
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.

by Daniel Turner |
Categories: crush, funny love, humorous, teacher,

Teacher's Pet

As I look back, it all seems funny now
Recalling all those awkward teen age years
I pushed the limits farther than allowed
Supposedly when young, we had no fears

Infatuation caught me with the blues
My heart was swollen by love's gentle sting
It was a crush that only left a bruise
Left by the diamond in her wedding ring

The first day I laid eyes on her, I fell
The lightning bolt she was, that shook my world
And to this day I swear I'd know her smell
Could she have read my mind, she'd likely hurled

I hated school but never missed her class
She said she loved me 'cause I made her laugh


  original poem by Daniel Turner

by Mary Nagy |
Categories: angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,

Princess Needs a New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.

by Linda-Marie Sweetheart |
Categories: funny,

12 Days of Christmas Craves

"12 Days of Christmas Craves" On the twelfth day of Christmas My true love sent to me 12 twinkling tiaras Eleven emerald elephants Ten Tiffany trinkets Nine naughty negligees Eight echoing elves Seven sequined stars Six sexy singers Five fake fingernails s s s Four furry foxes Three tingling tamborines Two turtledoves And peach tree in pail via e-mails s s s. *For P.D.'S 12 Days of Christmas. *Written by: Linda-Marie "Sweetheart".

by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, holiday

Valentine's Day Musings

All year long he puts my heart on a shelf
No surprise I’d rather be by myself
     If there’s no Valentine treat
     From this worthless hunk of meat
He can go on making love to himself

Remember there’s an “I” in Valentine
So if no one’s around to say, “Be mine”
     Just splurge – get a new hairdo
     Party with an all-girl crew
Check out the divorce rate and say, “I’m fine”




*For Francine's Valentine Limerick contest

by Celeste Butler-Mendez |
Categories: funny, love

Black Magic Hearts

What underhanded monkey business 
razzle-dazzle bull is this? 
Whose double-crossing, flimflam scam, 
debauchery or hocus sham 
is wheeling dealing in romance, 
putting lovers in a trance? 

Antics, capers or witch's brew, 
enchanting hymns or shaman's stew, 
whose quackery or voodoo drink 
made Casanova stop and think 
and turned the ancient lovers cold; 
poor Romeo and nymphs of old? 

Perhaps black magic's potent gel, 
or craftiness or wicked spell, 
a clever con or master hoax, 
or just some trickster playing jokes. 
Whatever ruse that works the arts, 
mumbo jumbo seduces hearts!

by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: food, funny, humorous, nonsense, romance, sexy, silly,

A Fine Flavor Between Lines

Is it Love
a simple bowl of ice cream
sweating from the heat
cherries on the top
huddled 'round and looking sweet
two little wooden paddles
pretend that they are spoons
as we sit beneath the stars
in the savor of the moon
your lips are all I see
as they caress them with a passion 
the cherries on your tongue
in a delightful playful fashion 
with our eyes intent and focused
in a stare of solemn trust
Is this ice cream truly love
or is it merely cherry lust

by Dan Kearley |
Categories: funny, inspirational, love,

A Gentle Kiss

A gentle kiss, that I really must send To another true, and very dear friend Pucker up babe, it's coming your way And riding a storm, so it should be there today I licked my lips before I blew, so I know it's going to stick But with all the lightning, it might have a little kick So when it hits your lips, it might give off a little spark Now what started off as a gentle kiss, might be leaving you in the dark
*For my sweety* *Elizabeth Wesley* Love,Dannyboy 8-24-12

by Black Eyed Susan |
Categories: funny, humorous, journey, poems,

Poems For My Alien Abductors: a Ride Into Space

I thought I could wow them with poems from earth
Poems of joy and humor, poems extolling it’s worth
So I laid out poems from Michael, Gail, and me
From Andrea, David, Gwen, and Ilene
From PD, Harry, Mandy, and Chris
From Jack, Craig, Cyndi, and Liz…
For I was sure once they read our beautiful works
They would embrace us and love our humanly quirks!
So last night I taped them all over my skin
Knowing they’d find them if they took me again…

When I woke up, they were gone and I had a reply:
“We enjoyed reading those poems last night, 
And thanks for the names of the earthlings too -
We have many more experiments to do!”


2/7/13
For Michael's boomerang...send your poem for a ride contest

by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: fantasy, fun, funny, holiday, humorous, love,

I Want Peace

I want a piece of chocolate cake
Oh and a delicious piece of cherry pie
I want a piece of that place called Fort Knox
With all those pieces I could afford a lot

I want a piece of that lady over there
In her haute couture she saunters with such flair
I want a piece of the clouds in the sky
I just want it, don't ask me why!

I want some tiny peace of mind
To have some pieces left to be kind
Then I can give you a piece of  Art
A piece I promise comes straight from the heart

by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: funny, humor,

3 Musketeers a Collaboration With Casarah Nance and Tim Smith

I wrote a poem of despair 
My hearts been tossed up into the air 

She wrote a limerick that was taboo 
She made me laugh when I was so blue 

Entering stage left was Tim 
Writing of past lovers sins in a hymn 

It seems that we laugh or we cry 
We live, we love, or we die 

The three of us, holding poetic swords up high 
Throughout the ages we all do fly 

No subject goes unspoken 
For the freedom of words we've awoken 

No battle to long or too fierce 
Our duels are true and unrehearsed. 

Through blood, sweat and tears 
A bond so strong that sweetens the years 

All for one and one for all 
Let us carry on and have a ball!

by Moonbee Canady |
Categories: daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, mother, nature, nostalgia, peace, people, seasons

Its Raining...

Its Raining…

God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…

who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again

                               Amen

by Anya Chebukina |
Categories: funny, love,

Basements Basements

This is just for fun..=)




In the basement of my heart
there is a basement
and in that basement there are two basements. 

You open one
and enter the basement 
only to find out there is yet another basement

That basements basement 
was light and blue
But that basements basement
was black

from basement to basement you walked 
until you couldn't anymore

The basements basements 
basements basements basements 
basements basements basements basement
of my heart.

You found my love...

by Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories: blessing, care, heart, love,

- Give Off Your Heart -

Reflection upon the man's generosity
You are blessed with holy words and pure good deeds
Those who are generous and those who never want to share
Everything can be used - over and over again
Get rid of something that has collected dust for a long time
It is spring's most beautiful adventure


Recycle of things that are redundant or unnecessary
Some live in wealth while others in poverty
We all have something to share
Something funny, something weird or something pretty
A gift that gives you the feeling of happiness
You can make a difference - spread joy to others in your daily life












02.06-2017
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved

by Nick Bagnall |
Categories: funny, loss

Missing You

She was wonderful and powerful
My object of desire
Her smooth clean face so beautiful
The apple of my eye

My love she had an accident
She fell from up on high
I found her broken body there
'Twas lying on the ground

Now all I have's her memory
The songs we used to share
Oh how I miss that ipod
My heart it megahertz

by Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories: butterfly, funny love,

Blushing Butterflies

Butterflies have the quietest wings
Defying the weight of their flutterings
Your red face has shown
What you did not want known
Your fight to keep them from escaping




10.02.2019

Writing Challenge, October - Butterfly -
Sponsor, Dear heart - Wiishkobi Ode