Words You Should Have Said
"...and in the end, letting go was a lot like falling in love.
I had to learn to say goodbye to the one who gave me the
courage to say hello."
~ r. m. drake
So very long ago, or so it now seems,
I lost you and every one of our dreams
because you had changed so much inside,
and became a stranger you couldn't hide.
In all the years of loving you
somehow, I think I always knew
we would never make it to the end
but I stayed, trying hard to pretend
that we could save what we once had.
Now it's all gone, the good and sad.
I'm suffering through the healing years
filling an ocean with swells of my tears,
and still I cry; in bitter sorrow they pour
while I wish I didn't love you anymore.
Do you know what you should've said
on any night we lay together in bed?
"I'm sorry that I've made you cry.
Please don't leave. Don't say goodbye.
Tell me it's not too late. I know I'm wrong
and my problem has gone on much too long.
I'll get help, like you ask because I'm to blame.
I don't want to lose you, and I feel ashamed.
I know I turned from you by closing the door
but I promise not to shut you out anymore.
I need you at my side. Please stay with me.
I'll be a better husband, you'll see
because I want to keep you by my side.
Please, tell me your love hasn't died."
Those are the words I longed to hear
and saying them would've kept me near.
The words were in my head, not in your heart.
It was your weakness that tore us apart.
I wanted to see your repentant tears fall.
I pleaded with you and through it all
you didn't say anything I needed to hear.
Your demon held you in the clutches of fear.
You allowed evil to have its beguiling way
as you became more of a stranger each day.
I'll always have regrets, and for you I still long,
but I had to write the last line to our love song.
I tremble each time i remember walking away
and my heart aches for you every day.
Some mornings I wake without you, biting my lip
and wipe my tears away with a fingertip.
You're still within my heart, no matter what I do.
I cannot vanquish the memories of me and you.
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