Wizards Bats Crotch-Sniffers and Me
When I met my forever man
I warned him I have a few idiosyncrasies.
He looked into my pair of 42 C’s and said
He was okay with them
There are two wizards battling inside
My coffee table, I told him, and there is
A nest of bats living in my coffee pot.
He laughed.
So I went on. There are some
Crotch sniffers living in the bowels of
My chimney and they bite sometimes.
In that chimney? He asked, pointing.
I nodded yes.
And so it went. And we were a twosome,
And things were great like all the other times.
Until he realized it was the truth, and my home
Was magical, and I was more that a pair of 42C’s.
The coffee table could not stay put. Every night it
Would be rolling in the hall, and there would be
Slashing and gnashing sounds. It is startling to try
And sleep over two wizards who are beating each
Other’s brains out with swords.
One of the bat’s bit his lip as he was drinking a cup of
Coffee that first morning. I did not think he would mind
The crotch sniffers, as none of my other boyfriends had,
But unfortunately, he had a unique scent and a crotch sniffer
Bit him hard, there….so that was the end of boyfriend number
Six hundred and thirty three. I guess it’s just the wizards, bats,
Crotch-sniffers and me now. I am tired of hunting.
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