Why Me
A pandemic wasn’t the worst of what I’ve experienced
imagine being gas lit for your mental illness
And times that by 3 if once was not enough
Man have I been wronged.
Imagine people you love making you feel like a hypocrite
for your illness
for sadness
loneliness
Abandonment.
Imagine he says “baby I love you”
only to cheat
Imagine she says “I’ll ride or die for you”
only to call you weak
and leave.
I cannot lie and say I haven’t thought of taking my own life.
So many times giving my heart away
To those who aren’t deserving of my love and light.
But I will tell you my best kept secret.
My heart has no capacity to bite back at these actions.
I have sat in my hurt and pain
I have had weekly therapy sessions.
Instead of cowering down to a level of deceit and mistrust.
I have chosen love.
I have chosen me
And what I have got in return is not what you think.
I have learned compassion.
Empathy.
The way these people are,
Is not within me
I know I deserve better
and I know the best will come.
I know I am filled with love and light.
I know how that manifests in my life.
Here I go again, turning the other cheek.
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