Ugly Feelings
I might smile
I might agree that you're cool
I may even act like I enjoy having you around
But I think that I hate you
I don't really hate you, I hate what you've done
You've stolen my joy and you've taken my fun
What used to be mine, now is yours
The place I once held, now you hold
It's all about you now and I'm sick of it
I could almost hate you for that
I want to scream in your face
I want to tell you that I despise what you've done
I almost wish you didn't exist
Or lived some indescribable distance away never to be seen
But you're too nice
Too polite
Too too
So I can't do any of these things
And I hate feeling this way
Feeling so incredibly jealous of you
Not being happy for another's happiness
Wanting to let myself hate you
I know I'm pathetic, disgusting,
So I try to hold it all inside
But it doesn't work very well
I want desperatley to run away
Then at least I could leave behind
Instead of being left behind
But there is no where to go
I could almost hate you
But it's not really you that I hate
If it were anyone else in your place it would be the same
I just hate the change
I hate feeling that I'm losing something that belonged to me
Something I never would have given up willingly
But I know now, it was never mine
What do I own?
Not my best friend
Not the time we spent together
Not the choice of who she spends her time with now
Not her love
The memories
I own only the memories
And in the end, that is all I'm left with.
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