Twilight
The stars remind me of your eyes. So does the moon; and the ocean. The twinkle of the midnight sky, the shimmer of the glistening waves. Wherever I turn, I see you. Whenever I see something beautiful, anything breathtaking, anything that fills me with awe, the image of you bursts into my mind, as if summoned by my wonder, bringing with it a whirl of colour.
I won't meet your gaze. There's no need to, for I can just look to the twilight and I see you.
I'm afraid that if I look into your eyes now, I'll never be able to look away.
I'm afraid that if I look into your eyes now, I'll see a world I'll never be able to forget, a dream I'll never be able to escape.
I'm afraid that if I look into your eyes now, I won't even notice when the spark within them fades. I'm afraid I won't notice when you stop gazing back. I'm afraid that I won't notice when you leave. I'm terrified that, when you do, I won't realize until you're already too far away to get back.
I'm afraid that my paradise will come crashing down around me; and I will stay stood, oblivious, stubborn to the destruction, too lost in my own dream to see the nightmare unfolding around me.
I don't want to lose you.
The thought alone scares me more than any nightmare ever could.
That is why I don't meet your eyes. I'm too weak - I succumb too easily to your smile - what if I lose myself in your laugh, too?
What if, when you leave, it hurts me more than I ever thought it could. What if, when you drop me, I shatter? What if the strength of my love mirrors how hard it will will hurt when you go. What if it breaks me. What then?
Will it be worth it?
Of course it will. "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all". Even if our time together is brief, it will still be the best time of my life.
Perhaps we won't break apart, perhaps this time it'll be different. We'll have to wait and see. All I know is i want to find out with you by my side.
I can't see into the future, but when I look into your eyes, the future doesn't matter. Only this moment matters, only you matter. The world around us dissolves away and its just the two of us. You and me.
That's why I now look into your eyes, and that is why I can't look away.
01/18/17
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