Thinking of Her
I try every night to close my eyes
I lay awake for hours looking out my window
Staring at the stars.
Tonight I look out to the moonlit sky
The clouds walk in a distant array
Weeping as they go.
I think of you when I close my eyes
The pain is immense, it refrains my sleep
Laying down in a conscious dream.
I think of you all the I see the sun
I think of you when it is dark and wet
If only you were here.
I walk the corridors so lonely and cold
Oblivious to all, I think only of you
I wish you were beside me
I sit in class, gazing at you
I notice you in the largest of crowds
I feel like you don’t see me
I see you with other guys, wishing it was me
I looking into your eyes with intent and passion
I feel only a stone cold gaze in return
I ask myself why I try, I feel out of depth
I’m swimming in the middle of the cold sea
My last thought is of you
I look at you, your splendid beauty
I see us together and going strong
If only you gave me a chance
I walk the dark halls lonely and scared
I walk to school making conversation with myself
Imagining it was with you
I look out as the sunsets orange
Wishing I could hold you as we watch it reprieve
Talking until the light fades beyond the sky
I find only darkness in the lightest of days
I find no warmth in the sun anymore
I find no hope in a new day
I fight this battle alone, one that is tearing me apart
I am fighting my feelings and I cannot win
I begin to despair
I am lonely, I have no one here
No one understands, no one can hear
I am alone in this battle
My confidence I once had has deserted me
My pride and self worth is gone
I feel but a remnant of my once self
I walk the corridor alone, no light, no warmth
No help or support
I will find the door and leave this place
When? Only time shall tell.
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