The Television Evangelist
The Television Evangelist
By Elton Camp
Every Sunday, be sure to go
To the old-time revival show
Strives to keep your devotion
By strong appeal to emotion
Suggests you are a sinner dire
Much in risk of hellish fire
Will show you how today
To escape, there is a way
First you truly must believe
Never allow Satan to deceive
There is something else to say
The reverend you must obey
Favor of this man of God
Will assure a heavenly nod
He’s right here every week
Authorized by God to speak
Lets you know he has had a call
To offer salvation to one and all
But his ministry could be lost
Due to all of his growing cost
That’s where you come in
So cough it up, my friend
You can’t afford not to give
So in heavens you can live
Tithe is the least you owe
So send along the dough
If to pay proves too hard
We will take Master Card
If you give us a larger amount
Untold blessings, you will count
Generosity God will sure repay
On that fearsome judgment day
We will gladly hug your neck
For your Social Security check
Please mail it on to our address
And in that way, love express
To those who will give enough
We mail back some holy stuff
Lock of the good reverend’s hair
To show how very much we care
Cross looks like made of gold
Since you did as you were told
Or to drive away all your fears
Small vial of the preacher’s tears
Those who show the love they bear
Will receive from us special prayer
But know any who dare to give less
Cannot expect us or God to bless
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