The Sun To This Son
It has been 40 days, now, since my mom’s passing to the afterlife
But my feeling of “lost-fullness” is as untainted and as vibrant as the first moon
Way too bright for my eyes to see, especially when, it’s my heart that’s doing the seeing
Everything becomes a blur because of all the pains and the tears that consistently appears
And each bright array is like a sharp piercing arrow, deafening; my every thought of sorrow
Multiplying what was already, two broken pieces into a thousand more little pieces
Jaggedly edges; dancing and slicing and everything
The sensation is like how you catch a cold; first comes the breeze… Then here comes, the sneeze
It takes a whole lot to shake it out
Sometime you’ll need a special kind of tissue, to wipe away all the harden issue
I know, I’m sorry, that was kind of hard to hear but what can I say, I’m no Shakespeare
I’m just saying, letting things go doesn’t always come as easy,
It is a choice that has to be made, just as freely as the sun disappears from the sea
As for now, I got this hole in my heart to contend to everyday
I don’t mind all the broken pieces and their sharp edges
I believe I can fix those with my heart-made promises and pledges
But the hole is like an entirely different subject even for Sigmund Freud
As if there are no right words or formula that can ever fill the void
I have no gloves to fit to acquit it and no clues can ever fit the crime
So, I’m left with only one hope and that it is just a matter of time
I miss my mom so much, like how a bird with broken wings, misses the sky
So anxious to find some kind of bond to tie it to a future that’s just standing-by
I miss all the isolated moments we had together and the feeling of invincibility
I miss the home I knew that’s no longer a place, within the vicinity
But I will continually try my best, to live; to walk, without the sunlight in my face
Knowing that she will always be the sun to this son, she’ll help me find my ways
Dec. 30 2015
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