The Happy Holiday Chocolate Monster
THE HAPPY HOLIDAY CHOCOLATE MONSTER
Her name was Maureen o Leary,
she could not get out of the house,
Her feeder was a man called Timmy,
He was as quiet as a mouse,
She had been bedridden for nearly three years now ,
It took her an hour to raise even a smile ,
Meal times were quite an achievement ,
And usually took quite a while,
Breakfast was two packs of bacon ,
A loaf of bread and two dozen eggs ,
It was Timmy who did all the running ,
No wonder he had such short stumpy legs
Lunchtime was three hours later,
Normally six fish and eight bags of chips,
Timmy would feed her so lovingly ,
Then kiss the grease of her fat hairy lips .
Holidays were never an option
Let’s be honest now where would they go,
Timmy driving round in his camper van ,
Maureen on a trailer in tow,
So their holidays consisted of chocolate,
And they used quite a lot I can say ,
A van brought it round in the morning ,
Then she consumed it all through the day
For a treat Tummy would bathe her in chocolate ,
Then lick it all off her skin,
Paying particular attention
To the pool that formed in her chin ,
This went on for some time
till her heart gave up from the strain ,
They tried but they could not budge her ,
so she was melted and poured down the drain
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