Love Poem: The Endless Mistake

The Endless Mistake

This is so like me
To fall into a deep dark hole
Without a way to dig myself out
I repeat this terrible mistake every time
Stumble down the same blind path
Littered with the entrails of slaughtered longings
I feel the same old tug of festering desire
Chase it with starry eyes and a cynical smile
But then the inevitable chasm yawns open at my feet
And in I tumble like a helpless rag doll
Of course I should know better
I should have opened my eyes and blinked away the cobwebs
Torn down the shroud of infatuation you threw over me…
For so many times have I been led astray
By the dream of a lover that could never be real
And this time it was you who drew me down that shadowed path
You who threw the stardust in my eyes
You who conjured the bottomless black gulf
You are the flitting gilded butterfly
I’m the gormless fool with the net
You’re the shining gold at the end of the rainbow
But the rainbow is misty and blood-spattered and dark
And I can’t see it through my dusty tears
Yet on I go, on and on
Chasing you through the bitter bright days
Drifting through the nights spinning a web of tangled hopes
Shattered dreams
A web with which to snare you
But how can one ever capture a ghost?
A shadow of the heart’s deepest longing?
For that is all you are – a phantom of my desire
And I’m just a lonely little girl with a love too big for her skin to restrain…
Trapped in the bottom of a deep dark hole
Waiting and praying for you to lift me out
And sweep me off my weary feet