The Chaos in My Heart
I don't know of anyone who's been successful
in an attempt to capture the encumbrance
of a love pledged and then withdrawn,
nor how to heal a heart from its fallibility.
So, I'm left wondering...
when did the shallow waters of intense love
become too deep to tread?
When did the waves thrash so powerfully
that I was unable to keep my head above them?
I was drowning in the chaos churning in my heart.
Tearful were my eyes in a state of mourning.
Weeping while bereaved and casting a silent plea.
Desperate in the need to escape the captive prison
when my heart was found guilty of gullibility.
Imprisoned by love's bars, unable to take flight,
I was the swan who had lost her mate,
without hope of ever wanting to fly again.
Broken vows are like wounded wings,
and therein was my heart's pitiable plight.
Is it never to be relieved of the agonizing ache?
In gloom of anguish, I gasped one last breath
before crossing the chasm between love and hate.
Too late to beseech my heart for help.
Spurned, it was lamenting over love's death.
Disconsolate, emotions in disarray,
I held a pressed rose he'd lovingly offered,
crushed it in my hand as if I were the flower.
With the power of penance, I reprimanded myself
for having trusted in the pledge of love.
I sacrificed the withered petals,
tossed them on the wind's wayward whims.
Niggled by the feeling of emptiness and loss,
I felt as if I'd just laid them on my own grave.
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