Testimony of An Abuser
The substance of what I hoped for
Was evident by what was seen,
And by it I obtained a bad report;
Through it I would sojourn in the vale of Jordan,
as one reaching the mirage;
But still without it I was impossible to please.
Diligently I sought my rewards:
Promises that could not tarry;
As sand through the hour glass... fingers to mouth
Gasping and grasping until a fist formed, I beat at air.
I beat them: spoiling their goods for the substance
Enjoying its pleasures for seasons at a time -
But then later, I had no pleasure in myself.
I found that I was the apprehended, so I drew back...
When I heard the illumination of God speak of better things.
I believed and still believe now seeking Him with diligence,
That I may bring God pleasure and not shame,
That I may enrich others And that I may now
Apprehend that for which I'm apprehended of Jesus -
For the substance of what I now hope for
Is evident by what is not seen,
And by it I shall obtain a good report.
Scripture Compilation
Hebrews 10:35-39; 11:1-16
Philippians 3:12-14
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