Tamed Beast
I want to tell you a true life story,
This very story has never been told to any ear before now;
It’s a burden to hold this story to my heart alone;
As I share a demo of my experience, the loads lessen;
From my script, these are uncensored truths that I reveal;
I’m a product of sin and born out of mixed feelings too;
The feelings of love and hate, burning deep in my heart;
The stronger one grew with me and dominated my soul;
The hate I received, I learnt to give back always;
Hate turned to my strength; I knew no weakness.
I grew up strong, my hate grew stronger than me;
In so many ways, I dished out this cold hate to anyone against me;
Life experiences were unfair to me, it unfairly turned me to a beast;
I lost my mother at seven, my father at fourteen with no siblings except me;
I turned to hate myself, I lost myself amidst my losses;
I was left alone in a world I couldn’t understand, so vulnerable;
No parents, no siblings, no inheritance, and no love;
I became blind on the inside; I couldn’t see any future;
No hope, no vision, no inspiration, I became suicidal;
Countless attempts; yet, my spirit failed them all.
My life refused to end, my pain became endless;
Year in and out, I lived a tormented life on earth;
I cry every time I’m alone, smiling in pretense to ignorant faces;
I learnt to comfort myself, none can comfort the pain they don’t see;
I weep every mothers’ day, fathers’ day so much disgust me;
When my friends talk about their siblings, I feel utterly odd;
Surrounded by uncaring relatives, with none to relate my pains;
But, I’m always lucky with caring friends, they turned into family;
Still, I couldn’t trust anyone because I have been hurt by friends too;
Since I’m used to my solitude state of mind; I can only believe myself.
I’m not sorry, if you can’t comprehend my life synopsis;
A detailed account will exhume buried pains; I refuse to cry again;
I embraced my fate, I lived nonchalantly since I don’t care what may happen;
My last suicidal attempt in 2011 was the last one; couldn’t believe I could be saved;
The last time was really the last one, I found love in 2012 and love took over me;
The love I found turned to weakness, but the its strength gave me a reason to live;
To love and cherish my lover became an obsession; she became a precious possession;
For once, I became afraid of losing my life, that gave me hope not to lose my mind.
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