Tale of a Broken Heart That Isn'T All Broken
He killed me.
No, he is killing me.
With every kind word about *her* he stabs a knife into mine.
He mustn't know.
I put on a happy face. A smile that is fake transparent.
He mustn't know how he is killing me.
The tears overflow my heart, but I keep them in. No one can know.
Cold.
Stoic.
Heartsick.
Perhaps I deserve this pain....I hurt him first. It seems fair that he do it to me with good measure.
That he make me suffer and bleed.
He mustn't know how much he is killing me.
However, I'm not broken. I'm shattered.
He is just making my pieces of smaller; harder to put together again....
Will he touch her with my blood on his hands?
Will he love her?
Will *she* love him?
I guess "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is just a load of crap.
I just didn't think it'd hurt this much when he's with someone else.
It felt good to kiss him again, he said he liked it. But.....
He kills me again. It's a good thing emotional blood is invisible,
because I am covered in it.
How do I perfect the brick wall surrounded by steel on my heart? Behind my eyes?
He can bring me to life, but he kills me. Even though we aren't together,
he still holds my heart in his hands.
I don't think he realizes it.
If he ever will.
And now I am laying in a puddle of my own blood- my heart
ripped out and beating across the room.
I'm still alive because it hasn't been crushed.
I'm alive because my shadow hasn't been ripped away from me.
Sometimes it's hard to be stoic....hard to be cold
when the tears want so bad to spill over and mix with my blood that's on the floor.
I don't think he knows how I can feel my heart swell as it breaks. How heartsick I am.
He knows I care. He doesn't know how much...
I am dead.
He's killed me
I don't think I can be more dead than this, now I am just a shell until I breathe again
With him, my heart beats and is back in my body
He is mine.
My Akri.
My one.
The one who can break my heart because he holds the knife in his hand.
But if he wants ....I wish him happiness. I wish him love.
All in the world.
I want the best for my Akri.
I....love him.
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