sword and stone -
I've made myself a phantom, keeping critical things from you,
(and perhaps, in truth, more), for the sake of others ... others who
will not squeeze a tear on the day I am become amaranthine ...
or stardust ... those who knew me once inside and out - my full
Heart, my genuine but flawed heart, well-intended as any extant,
but broken by life's obscurities. Excuses notwithstanding, nill ...
recompense served where it was deserved, in my lap, justly so.
Does that make the love bestowed of a subordinate order, still yet?
Does that diminish the tenderness, care, affection, sacrifice, and
amity? Oh, I long for there to be justice for the struggle and
atonement given you amidst my darkness, a darkness to be not
named. EVERY single moment of that endless anguish, given
To hope - hope for prospect, offing, amelioration. Always YOU
were my cynosure, and I was your knight, a tome of oxidized
armor, but as determined and valiant as any. Alas, the armor
is gone degenerate, there is no glint in the eye ... the step has
Shortened, slowed, the battle cry but a timid echo, the gaze
blurred and ill-met, and even the adoration, once so vital and
kinetic, dimmed and tempered by actuality, and the misapplication
of a genuine and ample heart. Oh, how I wish you knew the
Truth, if for my damned selfish sake alone, but it will never come
from me ... it can not, it MUST not. I have taken this role for
too long, I have ridden this steed in purpose, and I know no
other, tried or true - doomed or dubious, it is mine. Done and
Done, to point and boundary. Perhaps some as I are meant to
carry such a yoke, regardless, to polish the armor of others,
while we stand rusting in the rain. But maybe someday, for
fate's sake, perhaps even on a distinct day, when I still draw an
Earthly breath, you will come to know TRUTH, despite, and
your heart and soul, in absolution, will love me again, adore
me again, depend on and look to me again ... for the naked
actuality of just how much I love you ...
And always have ...
and always,
always ...
will.
~ 3rd Place ~ in the "An Expression of Love Poetry Contest", Frank Herrera, Sponsor.
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