Sweet Child of Mine
As I watched my daughter playing with her son, I couldn't help but see myself in her. I still think of her as a child, but I guess parents always see their grown children as babies. My daughter is a reflection of me in many ways. She calls me her hero, but I'm the one who is proud of her. A tear rolls from my eye as I remember all the struggles we faced. Growing up as the child of a single parent, her life was a harsh reality.
I didn't know how to care for you, or how to handle your cries.
I wasn't sure what to do until I looked into your innocent eyes.
The first time you woke in the night, you scared me half to death.
My heart was filled with such fright, I could hardly catch my breath
I fixed you a bottle of warm milk and rocked you until sleeping.
I touched your hair, soft as silk. I held you close in safe-keeping.
My daughter left for a meeting in the middle of an atrocious storm. Heavy rain had been falling all day with outbreaks of thunder and lightning. "Love you both," she said, as she hugged me and her son, then rushed out. I was left with my adorable grandson. Cuddling him close and watching him play reminded me of times when my daughter was his age. Life had been a struggle: she had been a lively infant but I'd almost lost her from a series of convulsions. When she was nine, she decided to run away, but only got as far as the front yard. Then there were the terrible teens with the silly boyfriends I had to threaten. She had matured into a beautiful young woman, a wife and mother, and an influential and inspirational adult. Watching her grow up had been filled with trials, but also with much love and delight - I would not have changed a thing.
You were nearly lost to me, and I would've never known
the angel you would be, through the years you've grown.
Your younger years we spent together flew by much too fast.
A boyfriend dressed in leather? Thank God that's in the past.
Who would you become, when into a woman you were grown?
One day to be a mum? Would you have a child of your own?
My grandson fell asleep in my arms. I didn't want to put him down, so I held him close like I used to hold my baby girl. He looked so peaceful and innocent. I was shaken from my reverie by the wind as it rattled the windows and drove sheets of rain against the panes. With each flash of lightning and crash of thunder, my worry grew. I gazed at the clock and realized my daughter had been gone for more than five hours. She wasn't answering her phone. The intensity of the storm filled me with a sudden fear, just like the fear I had when she was young.
baby in my arms
I will keep you safe from harms
the rage of all storms
now I fret and stew
daughter, what's become of you
what more can I do
I felt so helpless, trapped in the house with the baby. My palms were starting to sweat so I put him down in his crib. Even if he wasn't here I wouldn't know where to look for her. I started pacing, emotions switching between fear and agitation. I started to panic. What if something had happened to her? What would I do without her? All those fears I had when she was a child came back to me. I had to get hold of emotions. I couldn't panic. Then the door opened. "Sorry, Mum. The weather was too bad to drive home so I met a friend for coffee, and my phone lost its charge." A sense of relief flooded through me. I held her close, just like I did when she was a child.
You were my angel as a little girl
Ribbons to tame your unruly curls
Then you grew up much too fast
into a lovely woman, a bonny lass.
Now you have a child of your own.
Before you know it, he'll be grown.
A grandson to hold upon my knee,
Thank you, daughter, for loving me.
Freestyle Haibun: Prose, Couplets, Senryu and Rhyme.
Collaboration between Lin Lane and Silent One
December 10th 2015
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