Love Poem: Smile

Smile

For every time you beat me
I smile
For every time you told me I'd be nothing
I smile
For every time you stood over and threatened me
I smile
For every plate you threw that turned the dinner table into place of fear
I smile
For every time you told me I was a black bastard
I smile
For the time you held before me my pet rabbit and said you would kill it
I smile
For every year it took for your legacy to dissolve
I smile

For every time you punched my mother
For the drips of blood that flowed from her wounds
For the time I soaked in fear when the ambulance came for her
For the time you kicked my sister in the stomach
For everything you did to her
For every time I hated myself for not being strong enough to defend my sister and mother
For every time we begged you to stop
I smile

For the time you broke my record player
For the time you threw my TV out the window
For the time you burnt all my books
For the time you smashed my bike I loved
For the time you threw my tenth birthday cake out the window
For every torturing word you swore at me
For the time you threw the pavement slab at me
For the time you opened every window upstairs and told me to jump
For every time you told me no one would ever love me
For the time you pinned me against the kitchen wall
For every time I cowered from your fists
For every time you locked me in my room for days
For every time I cried and wanted to die to escape from you
For every time I thought you were going to kill me
For every time I've learnt to forget
I smile

I smile
because I know everything you did and said was wrong
I smile
because with time and the love of others I have been able to move on
I smile
because from so much hate I've learnt that to love is greater
I smile
because I'm proud of how far my sister and I have come
I smile
because despite all you did to us
we can hold our heads high
and smile