Slipping Into Insanity
What in the world is wrong with me? You don’t know what goes on in my head.
My rage makes my eyes burn with hate. I’m wishing the world was as dead as I
feel. I’m stuck here at home, left abandoned and alone. Why do I care, that you’re
never there? My one escape left me. Why does the world rape me? Why do I have
to feel? There’s no easy way out. So I’m left here crying out for the one thing I
need. My hands are shaking cold while I try to rub it out of my head. I am slowly
drowning, my clowning is a disguise. I’m the only one that knows the true extent
to my mental demise. My heart is beating numb while the blood in me boils with
rage. Anger with myself. Anger with the heavens. Anger with everything in
between. Why must I feel this way? When does it end? So many questions
racing in my thoughts. So many fears I’m beginning to realize. So many regrets I
can’t forget. I missed the kiss. I miss the bliss. I miss the happiness of feeling
whole. What is happening to me? My life’s pages are becoming glued together,
smeared with the ink of malcontent. The Devil’s inside my head, I wonder what
his intent could be? It just seems like everything is killing me. The simplest of
things goes off like a bell, then I find myself stuck in my own mental Hell. A song,
a place, the face of an old friend. I wonder how long it’s been since then? The air
is still, filled with the freezing chill of self-aggression. A quiet thought. An ease of
mind. An inner peace that’s one of a kind. All I want is to be content. To feel happy
again. Why won’t it come when I try to let it in?
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