Silence
At the dinner table
We slur our words as wine becomes a truth serum.
Only this time it is your turn to say too much.
Over sharing is what you do best and because of that Silence now fills the room.
I am unable to find the feelings i want to express because instead i just feel angry and sad for you all at the same time.
My voice begins to raise and crack but your silence is so loud it cuts deeper.
I do not understand how someone can let another person drag them through the mud and yet they remain so loyal to them
I do not know why i still stay here
But i do not leave.
Silence.
I lay next to you as you drift off to sleep
There is so much i want to tell you but i know that it is not worth it.
But you are worth it.
You are worth so much more than someone who only craves you when they are lonely and a dildo is no longer pleasurable.
“You are worth so much more than someone desperate enough for the nearest mouth”
I whisper to myself as i can taste my salty tears.
I do not know why i stay here
But i do not leave
Days go by and i sit waiting for you to respond
But when you’re upset the only way you express yourself is silence.
I keep thinking of all the ways this will end.
It is too tiring to keep feeling this way.
But you’re already standing at the door.
You could easily walk out
Maybe this time you won’t look back.
Silence
I can taste my salty tears again as i begin to think about your absence.
You’re right there in front of me but it feels like you’re already gone.
I want to apologize for everything even though this time there is nothing i did wrong.
You start to walk towards your car and wave goodbye as you pull out of the driveway
I don’t know why i stayed
But it was you who left.
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