She is my sunshine, my blanket of stars
The solace of home has dissipated like the charmed fog of Brigadoon
Tensing up to swim with sharks, from my deep sadness…
Please may I curl up and hibernate until I see my family again?
My heart is not angry, it is still and quiet
I spurn my friend music like a heckling stranger
I hear without aid every voice that ever soared with longing in pangs of song
Tonight, I am alone
Clinging still to my respite, snuffed by a perky puffing train
Cradling in my chest the warm golden glow of the magic stone my wife placed lovingly
It will protect me from dying inside
It marks me as hers
In this I smile like the moment the pearly gates decided to open lasts forever
Tonight, I am alone
The precipice of tomorrow is already asking me to work up excitement
This crusty crunch of caffeine, cigarettes, loud jokes and extended innuendos
It wants me to shake awake
Plug into “the program” to forget, to do duty
To build freedom?
I always balked at “the program”…
The distraction I built is melting around me
Familiar adornments of pragmatism and glamour drip away
The bones of my life away from home seem sickly fragile, revealed
Tonight, I am alone
I seem to have crashed up on a blank new shore
The winds have died
I can only explore what Prospero has done for me
I do not understand the choices trailing behind, nipping at my ankles
Just always remember my love, saying “breathe deep, seek peace”
But in a void, how do you breathe?
You gasp, at first, until you find traces of air
My broken, stuttering words
Tonight, I am alone
I sketch a fuzzy charcoal outline of some future still formulating
I place the image of her aura around the sun
I take heart watching the grey powder shimmer and climb off the page
I am just now a minimal version of who I will be
Quite lost
Blind, deaf and bound with masked memories, spotty self awareness
In the In Between
My wife washes my funk away unswervingly like I’m a blessed leper
I feel her now
My love summoned hers
Even from afar
I see now…I am never alone
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