Seeking Contradiction
I know what I want.
A man with words that warm me and a touch that gives me chills.
A man who challenges me intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in ways there aren’t even words for. But who isn’t threatened to learn a thing or two from me.
A man who sees beauty in my ugliest parts.
Who knows when to throw me down in passion and when to lift me up in care.
I know what I want.
A man that relishes independence for himself and me, but aspires to the heights we can only reach together.
A man who finds me desirable enough to chase, intently. Yet who’s willing to be caught, naked and exposed.
A man who’ll surprise me, but who’s devotion is unshakably predictable.
A man who moves inside me til I tremble. And yet when he puts his arms around me, I melt.
I know what I want.
I want to care enough to fight. And be cared for enough to make up.
I want to crave a common space called “home” as much as I crave faraway and distant lands.
I want to love and be loved deeply, to depths I've not yet known. Yet enjoy life's shallow waters where fun and levity thrive.
I want a love that is loud and boisterous when it just can’t be contained, but also quiet and stirring when it needs to recharge.
I know what I want.
I want it childishly, like a toddler whose favorite toy is lost in the crack.
I want it desperately, like a drowning man wants a breath.
I want it earnestly, like a mother just wants her child to be happy.
But childish desperation, even earnestly projected does not make it so.
Still, I know what I want.
Simply knowing is a satisfaction to savor.
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