Seeing For the First Time
Today I saw her
As if for the first time
She had aged dramaticly
Deep lines all over her face
crippled and deformed she was now
Barely clinging to life
When once she was so beautiful
So full of energy strength and perfectly
Shape from head to toe
I recall many complimenting her beauty
I felt so proud
Yet now I felt a deep fearing pain in my heart
Now I've noticed how
She looked tired and worn out
As if she once fought many battles
Yet won few
Many scars she worn upon her skin deep and thick
They were
But not as many nor as deep as the ones
She wore unpon her heart
She had not always been good in her life
Fallen to bad habits and bad decisions
Selfish and cold hearted at one point
I had spent many years angry at her and even
Maybe a little hate
But when I saw her today for the first time
I heard criies so loud and it was my heart breaking
I knew then I had always loved her
And now in her old age sickened by her past choices
Clinging to life
yet knowing death peeks from around the corner
I realized I shouldn't have wasted so much time
Holding on to what cannot be changed
I realized that precious moments will
Never have another chance
And I have lost them because of my own poor choices
Now as I watch my mother slowly and painfully go
I will be losing someone that is so dear to my heart
That has shared more than half of my life
With me and there is no more time
To show her how much I love her
Now when I seen her for the first time
I saw how precious she was to my heart
I saw how much more I will be alone
I saw one half of me being gone
I saw just how much she meant....
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