Love Poem: Screwed and Lost

Screwed and Lost

You meant the world to me,
and I screwed up.
you were always there from me 
to care for me
laugh with me
talk with me
and I screwed up.
I saw what I saw 
i heard what I heard
and what I heard and saw is what made me think.
I didnt want to
but I did
now I see that I had made a big mistake that I'll always regret.
Why does it have to be this way?
I've called and called.
left messages and more messages
you never returned my calls in over a week 
now I hear you still love me
but Im gone so oh well...?
if you still loved me, you'd call.
if you still loved me, you'd write.
if you still loved me, you'd get me back 1 way or another.
I still love you 
that will never change
but I'm so lost.
lost at what I did
lost at what I should do.
I'm lost and hopefully will be found.
its not fair!
but I guess i have to deal with it.