Reset
Abuse, of any kind, is unacceptable no matter what “good” comes from it.
Abusive, you
Lyrically expendable
You set my heart ablaze
At the peak of your animosity
Your apologies lingered amongst the masses
Sharing your ovarian milestones
Within your visceral declarations
Descending unto the bosom of guilty disgust
I recall those thrusts of loving remorse
As you latched onto my handsome errors
Deeply
Begging
To be my future
You got your wish.
Mother’s Dearest wisdom became the sentence that now
Imprisons our sun
Light
Shattering rainbow coated sins
At the cost of humanity’s violent song
You had the last word.
You win, my dear silver medal.
I was beautiful.
The attraction of a stalker’s 4th eye
As you prodded my truths
Slow danced with these lies
I became marked with the cold kiss of God’s wrath.
Yesteryear became my final stand against your psychological combat
You stole my innocence
As you glorify your irradiated sunrise
Your self-esteem digging holes in the dirt
But, I was the flirt.
You would sing to the heavens
About how much you loved my all
As you ridiculed the way I walked, I talked
Oh, how you viciously assaulted my identity
You fought for me
Because you lacked another to fight against
I will pray that you never cross my path.
I would wish you well.
But, that’d be a lie
Which means now you’ll believe me
I chose you over Father Figure, as you screamed, threatened, the safety of our world.
But, I didn’t love you.
I ached to hold you closer as you battered & attacked my brains unto oblivion.
But, I didn’t love you.
I kissed you in the name of hopeful forgiveness,
As you frolicked in one-night stands with speculation
But, I didn’t love you.
Phone calls not allowed to last under 30 minutes
For I wasn’t giving enough to our cause.
So, I stayed
As you belittled me with backhanded compliments & flirtatious apologies
But, I didn’t love you.
I was a screw up before I woke up, still I would call you each morning
For you were my sunrise
BUT, I DIDN’T LOVE YOU!
…
Could I ever find my innocence again?
For I now carry lifetime burdens
A payment plan I can never refinance
As you walk freely with your disemboweled victories
One day
My sun
Will arrive
And I will smile again
I will find my sincerity within the storm.
I will no longer be almost beautiful
I will no longer be almost beautiful.
©D.J.E.
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