Reply To A, "happy Valentines Day!!!"
Dear friend,
I actually don’t know if I should even be writing this to you. I've been doing well
with the whole not trying to contact you, but it seems to get harder and harder
everyday. I feel empty inside and this depression is one of the worst I've ever
been through. I feel that this could be the end. I feel a terrible distance between
us and I don’t know how to make that space seem shorter. Sometimes I think to
myself, "am I doing the right thing?" I can't help but feel that I’ve made a terrible
mistake. But your sister told me it’s for the better. And even my best friend told
me its better this way. Too many complications in our world. Too much confusion
to make any sense out of anything at this point in time. A sort of numbing feeling
come over me at night. Some times I call your phone hoping that you'll answer,
but at the same time hoping that you don't. I don't think I could handle hearing
your voice only to have to let go of it all over again. These things I tend to think
about until all hours of the morning. Sleep doesn’t appeal to me anymore. It
seems to have become unwanted, much like a tedious chore. I don’t think that
things will get better, and if they do not anytime soon. I can only pray that you’re
doing well. That your eyes see brighter days than mine allow me to see! In the
end that’s all I can actually hope for. That some how these decisions and actions
I have pursued will benefit your life. Because as much as I hate to admit it, they
don’t benefit mine.
Eternally yours,
A distant memory
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