Reaching 175 Miles Every Minute In My Mind
I don’t want to argue
It’s a total shutdown and suddenly I’m shouting
Even if my shouting is just words sent across space
I’m more resilient than it appears
I’m more watching than participating
I think that’s what happens before you let a pattern go
I have said grossly exaggerated things
So out of proportion that they are out of shape
I feel so terrible I unleashed this on you
Yes there is truth in it
It’s what happened between truth and screaming I sincerely apologize for
I avoid feeling miserable about our distance every day
Everything about it puts me in a bad mood
When I’m caught off guard and reminded I collapse
It’s like successfully ignoring your flesh being burned
Then seeing lights followed by silence and darkness when you check in on the pain
I do love you enough
I am committed enough
That nerve is just very sore
It makes me kick
I’m sorry I kicked you
I understand why you work when you do
It is only logical
I just can’t see that when I feel so alone without you
I know it’s true
It just doesn’t feel as real as crying over how apart our lives are
And how unflippingfair it is
Because we are stuck for intractable reasons
Knowing we are only waiting…
Is difficult to lean on
When details of that future have yet to congeal
I do have faith we have creativity to come together closely enough
I just might fritz, need help, from time to time
Working on it!!
You know me better than me
You must understand this about me
Let us talk, let us clear some air, let us reassure and relax
Forever yours
|