Rain
I walked next to the still lake named after a saint in the rain.
The roots of the pine trees,
gnarled knotted,
twisted pushing against the rocks and clay,
dissolving it providing for life.
Rain drenched me, mixing with my tears.
I thought of a man living in a concrete castle
who did not know he belonged in forests,
walking through clean rivers with me,
him as elven archer and me as elven scout slaying bugbears.
I could still feel the way I wrapped my legs around his waist in the Lerderderg river,
blending into one, the passion, lust and love intertwined and free.
I caressed the moss of the ground,
inhaling the smell of the fallen pine needles and leaves
mixed with mud and clay
reminding me of his coarse gray chest hair.
I looked towards the open rural skies
for turquoise and gold
but it was too distant beyond the gray clouds.
I got reminded of us walking down in downpour at night near Swan and Punt,
next to roaring traffic where cars were to me elephants
with battle armor with fire instead of eyes,
and I just wanted to spin, and spin and spin and dance
soaked in rain while you were rushing me to the shelter.
I get put into these people-y situations at a pub and restaurant
ogling the waitress while just wanting to be next to you.
We rate her on scale one to ten and I find myself unable to flirt with her
as I am overwhelmed with sounds
reminding me of the warzone triggering my neurodiverse senses.
I look at my two wolves drenched like rats,
replacements for your presence and
I just want to scream that I want you here and
I do not care it will be ing Brady Bunch just missing Alice, and
that whole zoo cannot replace you, and
that I want to be for once able to wake up next to you
without cuddling a pillow and
that I want our lives less complicated.
Trees and the rain told me you belong here, and you just do not know it yet
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