Pene Grande
Pene Grande (what I learned from the web today)
When you talk about mummies, Pene Grande
Would best be discussed when the kids were away
He was a mummy famed in his life
For having (well something that sure pleased his wife)
When he passed on, his new mummy home
Was in Palermo, Sicily’s old catacomb
The story is told of a young newlywed
Whose less than large husband was not much in bed
So she took a cloth and rubber Pene Grande’s fame
Then turned to her husband and rubbed him the same
The next night she lay with her husband and felt
A much greater presence and her heart did melt
When she opened her eyes, she screamed No, No, Sir!
For it was the ghost of Pene upon her
Everyone thought her crazy but it happened again
The next time with her husband, it sure wasn’t him
An exorcist said to get rid of the ghost
We must capture him when he exits the host
So a metal codpiece was affixed to her mate
And the lady lay back as a bit of ghost bait
Then as if on cue, Pene Grande came forth
Just as her husband was pointing due north
Then holy water was sprinkled and “poof”
The ghost was expelled, her husband the proof
Pene Grande’s spirit went back on his shelf
Left the husband’s small unit a mere ghost of itself
As for the ghost, he gained quite a crowd
Of little old ladies whose husbands stood proud
Rubbed by their women who wanted to lay
Even with ghosts for a “Pene Grande”
But the mummy’s now locked up so no one can touch
Cause even for Pene – too much is too much
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