Pen of Sorrow
“My pen drips of sorrow and on this paper, I write each tear.”
This is to a person I haven't visited in ten years.
He was very close to me,
let me open up to you so you can see.
He was the son of my mother.
In other words, he was my brother.
Let me paint a picture for you of what we had,
but be warned, this is sad.
From the ages of 10 to 12, he said nothing, not even a mutter.
He was ridiculed by classmates, because he had a stutter.
After that, life was a hard scary dream.
One in which he had no confidence or self esteem.
All of this nightmare turned into a reality,
because of our ignorance and brutality.
He grew up big and strong,
but in his eyes, you could see there is something wrong.
He was 6'2'' and had a body to envy.
At age 22, he was what every man wanted to be.
He made himself that way to have a protective shell.
Under his skin, you could see he wasn't well.
He had so many friends that he did neglect.
He couldn't get close to people, he meant no disrespect.
He tried so hard at so many things,
but at a young age, cruelty snipped his wings.
Inside he was afraid, so he showed no expression.
Looking back, I now see the face of deep depression.
I talked to him and said its safe and sound.
So he gave it a chance and came around.
One day he became the father,
of a very beautiful daughter.
His world revolved his daughter and girlfriend,
but quickly things started to descend.
“Daddy, I want you to be with me.”
He couldn't, she was wealthy and got full custody.
I got a call at work, but orders are backing up you see.
I couldn't answer, all he wanted to say was “help me.”
In this world he saw only pain with no light.
So he ended his life that fateful night.
The only thing I want is one more chance to answer that phone.
The only thing I want is one more chance to hug you when you come home.
I miss you more than my tears and words can say.
I had you for sixteen years, and for that I am grateful in every way.
When I pray, I will always ask for just one more day.
I miss and love you so much, I just wanted you to know that, okay.
***By Chris Matt for A Rambling contest “Just write”***
August 14, 2011
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