Our Love
Our Love (written in the style of spoken word)
My world eclipsed itself in the shadow of your moon
In the fading of your breath, the gasp of your final death
blacked out to me was the image of your last re-birth
Visions of your glory blind to my infantile sight
I cried out to God "take me lord, for to take my light
is to leave me unto darkness."
Crippled and shamed I crawled to my side
and wept to feel the fingers of your memory
sweep my hair from my cheek
As a child I raged that all he left of you for me
was the ghost of a life losing vitality in time
The world was numb but for the pain
and I rolled in the evanescence of it
wrapped like a proud shawl of mourning
that in this right I would sacrifice
and pay dignitary to what I failed you in
If I could have died, I would have born your stripes
I would have carried your cross
and welcomed the nails home
that all I could have of you
was the agony
of your leaving...
My Mother I felt your tears too
as I felt in them in your fading
I felt the trails of your sorrow
as you wept for your baby
Just as your comforts were
love and despair in one
to me
(for how could I know your life lived in me)
your regrets were mine misery
then my comprehension of a Mothers love was foriegn.
Your presence drove me mad
Your death erased my dreams
and your life fed my memories.
Some where the blackness of years
numbned-greyed and I breathed
Some where in a moment I could not name
your presence gave me stregnth as I accepted
the world I now lived
But the majic of the moon faded,
the faith you gave me staled
the world spun because God commanded
but my heart beat because you breathed it
God is a jealous God, I whispered
Is my loss my punishment for loveing her the more?
The tears trickled to moisture and days cycled into years
and I listened to your whisper, feather kisses
tucking me to sleep, some where in the depths
of the self I did not know, you loved, you prayed
You wept for my loss and yours, but you loved
you held me at night when I longed for you
you cheered for my each new step
and when I first held my son I heard in my heart your first words to me
" My baby, My Baby'
so then I understood and gave them to him
In learning this new love of my life I began to understand
not your death, but your life, your love, and why you still
hold me and miss me as I miss you
but I hear you, I hear him
and I see my son I thank you both
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