On Love and Its Consequences: a Reprise
I once believed love was the be all end all of life
The achievement of which would fix my broken soul
Not realising that love shows many forms
That soulmates come in differing ways
The first time I truly thought I was in love I was 13
He was older, so seemingly wiser
The red flags of his behaviour were too subtle for me
Until his purple kisses became too much
Until his love stained my body and my mind
I still haven't healed from the damage he caused
But hopefully one day I will
The first time I was truly in love I was 14
He was gentle and kind but darkness consumed him
I thought we could help each other into the light
And for a moment we did, but a switch soon flipped
As his life fell deeper into the dark I tried to pull him back
But he only pulled me deeper
Darling I never meant to make life difficult for you
I have to believe you never meant to leave those purple stains
I hope life is looking as bright for you as it now is for me
When I was 18 I was healing from my past
Not looking for love, instead trying to look forward
Maybe that is why I didn't see you coming
Maybe that's how you snuck into my heart
Removing the weeds that had festers and planting roses
By 19 he was teaching me how to love myself
Helping me heal, despite the dark days that consumed us
Instead of pulling me out, he helped me pull myself out
I believe I didn't truly understand love before him
Now I hope I can show him every day how much his love has meant
It has meant that I realised I love my mum
That she did the best she could in a difficult situation
That she was trying her best to keep it together
Only hurting herself in the process
It has meant I realised I love my friends
The ones I mess around with and the ones I talk serious too
That without them the world would be a lot darker
They deserve so much more than I can give
But I will never stop trying for them
Most importantly it has meant I realised I can love myself
That I was not to blame for all that happened to me
That I am capable of loving and being love
That I do not need to stain my arms to survive
That I stronger than I ever thought I was
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