Ode to Be
Ode to Be
I feel different from other people,
Some say I am weird and strange,
This endless striving to be accepted,
Just leaves me disheartened and drained.
I haven’t found God in the Bible,
But your eyes say welcome home,
At first I was still stuck in survival
And could only relax being alone,
My mind would often intrude.
Like a shameless paparazzi,
Sometimes clever and shrewd
Sometimes hurtful and bitter
Sometimes arrogant and rude.
But when you look at me like that,
I know I’m close to what I long for
And at peace with the universe, from inside.
Then even the anxiety and pain
Seems to recede like the tide.
When you enter my cold room
I feel a warm light shine on me,
I don’t know what freedom is
But with you I feel strangely free.
Your femininity like a natural fragrance
Something I can sense like an anagram,
Strong, but still as an ancient tree
That wakens my sleeping Man.
In my chest a beating drum,
My heart singing
And through tears, eyes that finally see.
I don’t know what it is that your bringing
But feel loved when you are with me.
I don’t know how to write a love song
But I am the notes and you are the melody,
I am the door and you are the key.
Your love gives me strength
To be friends with the loneliness
That used to keep me awake at night.
I’m often intimidated by people
Who criticise and say I’m not right,
But with you by my side,
Despair melts like snow.
In the streets below,
The sun starts to shine,
Winter turns to spring,
Yesterdays’ slippery ice
Is today, lush green paths
And birds start to sing.
You are the lighthouse
When I’m lost at sea,
Even the noise of the crowds
Sounds like music. when you are next to me.
I’m not saying that you give
Something I don’t already know,
But when you are near,
I feel a fresh breeze that blows
And scatters all my fears
And the dark heaviness of the clouds,
Is released in cleansing rain,
Washing away doubts
And only gratitude remains.
My body tells me what I need to know
When I really listen -and trust
And shows me how to let go
Of should, ought and must.
After all that we have been through
I am so amazed and thank the Gods
That I am so loved by you.
Even when you are not here,
Your potion works in my cells,
Bringing life into the cobwebbed corners
And filling my dried out wells.
Bathing in the lake of your eyes,
I wash away the dust of the past
And often have a taste of paradise
And something that will last.
I dare to be naked,
In the warmth of your gaze
And the World doesn’t seem
Such a strange and foreign place
And I don’t feel so homeless anymore.
When You laughed and kissed my nose
I saw that before
My windows were closed
And I couldn’t really breathe,
But avoided going outside
Because I learned I could only be with people,
By wearing a disguise.
But now, with you in my heart
I have a constant fire
That burns all that is impure
And I am not afraid to hide
And feel much less insecure.
I only need to think of you,
And feel branches reaching for the skies,
And roots growing deep into the Earth
And often feel surprise
Because it feels so easy to relax
Into the joy of simply being alive
And don’t need to cover my back – or face
And can leave my fighters hands by my side.
Sangeet Portals June 2023
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