Now and Then Again
Now and then I yen for you.
I search to find out
What I can about you
In secret.
Where you are now,
Where you have been
What are you doing
Who are you with
I yearn to know you are safe and happy.
The details do not matter an iota.
All I want is a snippet,
A furtive glace from your life now
Back to me, a time machine view, a glimpse of you
Even if you do not recognize me.
To make eye to eye contact with your eyes
This suffices, even if only figuratively.
I know that we can never be together again
To try would be so destructive of what we had once, together.
To rake the coals of memories burnt
Would be too painful,
A fiery walk on burning red coals in bare feet.
This would destroy all the memories we shared
Photos are frozen images that do not age.
To meet again would instantly destroy those freeze frames.
Like casting those photos into the flames.
No, it's best to leave the well of what we once had,
Well covered and cherished abandoned.
That is why I think of you:
Just, now and then.
But then again,
Not, now and again, and again and again.
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