Not Really Knowing
Who know me best,
Who know me, (me)
When I fall in love
I fall hard, or am I mistaken his love
For candy on my eyes, for now,
Or is this the real thing,
I know the truth,
Am I in total denial of wanting?
Denial has a dark side:
I have a past, of repeating,
The same mistakes,
Why can’t I see passed those brown eyes,
The saddest part, he hasn't taken me to cloud nine
Or touch my G spots, or glorify me,
What is it about him, that make me thirsty?
I cry so much last night, I cried
Cry of loneliness, sexual deprivation,
I even cry after sex, they called it the
drowning in a sea of feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine,
But it never happened, the done deal so why am I crying?
I will blame this one on my booster shot,
What the hell they injected into my body?
I am seeing things in a different form of light.
Or is my lack of trust?
I cry even more, seeing his ringtone
And refused to take the called,
Just wanted him to reach for me instead,
I wonder if he has any idea, of what he is
Doing to me: I am a woman,
I need to be touch.
How can I overlook this jealousy?
And focus, on me, and not on him
Your needs are being met,
I feel like I am pregnant, again, waiting
For that little life inside of me to
Come out and love me. Wholeheartedly.
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